Christmas Quotes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 4

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

The one thing women do not want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won''t make it "white".

The day after Christmas is like the day after the senior prom. Everyone is asking, "What did you get?"

Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you''re home.

There''s nothing sadder in the world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it''s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ''till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn''t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn''t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Why is it that when snooty department stores put their Christmas decorations up just after the 4th of July it''s ''elegant foresight,'' but, when I leave Christmas lights up until April, my neighbors think I''m just tacky?

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can''t wait to exchange.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn''t for any religious reasons. They couldn''t find three wise men and a virgin.

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What''s in that pipe that he''s smoking?

Even before Christmas has said Hello, it''s saying ''Buy Buy''

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we''ll be seeing six or seven.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.

The TV news people keep saying that this could be the greatest Christmas we ever had.
I kind of thought the first one was.

I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn''t give her a fancy gift. And, I didn''t.

One good thing about Christmas shopping it toughens you for the January sales.

The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature.

It''s always consoling to know that today''s Christmas gifts are tomorrow''s garage sales.

Aren''t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

The best stocking stuffer is a human leg.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

Oh, joy, Christmas Eve. By this time tomorrow millions of Americans, knee-deep in tinsel and wrapping paper, will utter these heartfelt words: "Is this all I got?"

Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out and then count those you received?

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.