Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 22

Teacher : students semester system k fayde batao?

Students : sir fayda to pta nhi, par nuksan bohat hai,











Beizzati saaL me 2 bar ho jati hai. . .

Monu - sister mujhe ek bottle khun de do
sister - blood group batao..
Monu - koi v chalega.
Sister - kaise?
Monu - gf ko love letter likhna hai. :)

GOLU ko 1000 ka note mila, Jispe lika tha, HAPPY NEW YEAR
Usne apni jeb se 1000 ka note nikala us pe SAME TO YOU likha

aur wahi rakh ke chala Gya

ek kanjoos ladki shopkeeper se boli- aisa saboon do jo kam ghise aur nahane k bad chehre par laali la de..... shopkeeper naukar se bola memshab ko 1 eet ka tukda laa do..

GenIouS bACHA..:P
1 bacha road pe kuttay ko le ja rha tha
1 Police wala hanste hue
Beta apne bhai ko kahan le ja rhe ho?
Bacha:Police me bharti krwane

Ladki-parso me tume rakhi bandhne ayi thi, par tumne nhi bandhwai, q?

boy-Agar me tere liye mangalsutra lau to kya bandhwayegi
ladke mahan he

Santa(to shopkeeper):seth ji chuhe maarn wali dwayi dena.

shopkeeper:ghar le ke jani ae?

santa:hor saleya chuhe ethe le ke aavan....

Girl-Wt u do?
Boy-I was doing a job wid TIMES OF INDIA but nw I left..
Girl-O God y u left
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Boy-Ab kaun subah subah uthe aur paper daalne jaaye..JSK

1 Baar 1 Aadmi kO
Raste mE Patthar Mila
UspE Likha Tha
"Patthar kO Palat Lo
Kuch Ban Joge"
Jaise Hi Usne Palta
Dusri Taraf Likha Tha
ULLU Ban Gaya

1 gareeb ladke ki shaadi ho rahi thi. pandit-kaho "mera apna sab kuch apni patni ko deta hun"
peeche se aawaz aai: "lo bechare ki cycle bhi gayi.

SANTA: maine apni beti ka shaadi sirf 1500rs mein kiya.
BANTA: woh kaise?
SANTA: maine use 1500 ka ek mobile dilaaya. usne love marriage kar liya.

Boy on a date with GF:-jaan main tumse ek baat kahna chahta hoon?
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GF:-Kya?
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BF:-Iam already married.
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GF:-Apne to mujhe dara he diya, main samjhi aapke pass paise nahi hai.

Sharabi Road par pada tha.
Policeman- itni Q pee rakhi hai?
Sharabi- mazburi thi
Policeman- kya mazburi thi?
Sharabi- botal ka dhakkan gum ho gaya tha.

Convent school k bache zoo me-00h! wow monkey is sleeping don't disturb
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Govt. Scool k bache- OYE HOYE DEKH TERA BAAP SO RAHA HAI, PATHAR MAAR SAALE KO....

Nark me kuch log party mana rahe the
BHAGWAAN : Ye log nark me bhi party mana rahe hain...
YAMRAAJ: .. <>BATHINDA<> wale hain..kahi bhi Enjoy kar lete hain. ;-)

santa ne bank loan pe 1 car li
loan nai chuka paya to bank wale car utha kar legaye
udas santa- pahle pata hota to shadhi bhi loan leke karta

Santa ne dariya me dubte hue 1 aadmi ko bachaya
*
fir wapas dariya me fenk diya
*
Banta- kyo?
*
Santa -kahawat h "neki kr Dariya me daal"

One Boy to Waiter: Hum Yahan Nahi Rahenge, Humare Paise Wapis Karo,
Itna Chhota Kamra Aur Bas Ek Stool,
Tumne Hume Bewkoof Samajh Rakha Hai Kya?
Waiter: Sir, Kamrey Mein To Chaliye Ye Lift Hai…

Santa-Tum 1baar me kitne admi utha skte ho,
PHLWAN-kamse kam 10
Santa-bas,Tumse acha to mera murga hai jo subah pure mohlle ko utha deta h

Girl: Main Tumhary Pyar Mein
Marr Gayi Lutt Gayi Barbaad
Ho Gayi . . .
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Boy: Main Kon Sa Tere Pyar
Mein BILL GATES Ban Gaya ..

Boy:Ye Ratein Ye Hawaein Ye Chandni Ye Ghataein Ye Nadiya Ye Kinare Girl Interrupts Say:Abe Saale Pyar Kar Raha Hai Ya Nature Study.

Kid To Mama In Washro0m!!

Kid: Mama Krlia Dhuladein

Mama: Ullu K Pathey Khud Dho

Kid: Jb Dhula Nahi Sakte To Khilate Q Hooooo..?

Apney Haq K Liye "Bol" :-)

A Health Tip:

Girlfriend Ke Hoto Pe
Honey Laga Ke Kis Kia Jaye Toh Gulab Jamun Ka Tast Aaega

Or

Khansi B Thik Ho Jayegi
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DR. IMRAN Hasmi,,,

Rita: AcHanak hi tum bacHat krne lagi Ho.
Gita: Ha yaHi mere pati ki akHari kwaHis tHi, dubte samay ve yaHi keH raHe tHe "BACHAO BACHAO"

Bhikhari to stupid uncle Dhiir
3 din se bhookha hoon kuch de do
Dhiir- saale ek 74 sal k budha 12 din tak bhokha ho k jinda hai tuje tisre din mout aai hai.
Jai dhiir baba

Bhakt:-Bhagwan promotion dila do 101/= ka bhog lagaunga.
Bhagwan:-Marwaiga kya, ANNA dekh raha hai.

stupid Dhiir pit gaya punjabi bolne k chakker main..
Papita wali se papite kharidne k liye bola.
ooi.. ik pappy-ta-dede..

Santa drves in 2 1-way & cross NO ENTRY board. POLICE : oye tainu NO ENTRY board dekha nahi kya?
Santa:"Oey! Mainu lagga ki aey flim poster hai!"

Teacher: tell me the names of all the planets..,!!!
Studnt: venus... earth...mars....:-/
Teacher: aur sunao
Studnt: bs bdiya..,ap sunao...

girl:Do U Love Me Lot.?
Boy: No.
Girl: what? u Not Love Me?
Boy: Ab Kya Khoon se Likh ke Du...Kya..?