Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 118

I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go. When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting ? .... When she starts ...

One more Law of Love - Love for a girl is directly proportional to her beauty and inversely proportional to strength of her bothers.

Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are very funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me any more. That''s why.

The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked,"You know, I''ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you tal...

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You''ll get your chance i...

A man kills deer & cooks it & dsnt tell kids wat it is.He gives a clue "its wat ur Mom calls me ( dear )!" Son screams:"Koi ...

Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry ull find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! ha

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!

Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But there is no "b" in rose. Max: There was in this one!

I love you in the mornig, I love you in the evening, but most of all, I love you when you are leaving.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

I read on the newspaper that sending text messages causes a radiation that is cancerous. That''s why I have decided to stop - to stop reading newspapers.

I''ve been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station and show them it''s a mistake?

This is is crime story five frndz live in a room namly mad, brain,fool,nobody,somebody one day somebody killed nobody at the time brain was i...

I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. That''s because Dad says "Love Animals"!

Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters.

One chicken to an other: are you tokkin'' to me?

The white dog was crossing the road one day and the car hit it slighlty and the dog woke up and said \"i nearly died like a dog\".

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

Maria, go to the map and find North America MARIA : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS : Maria!...

Don''t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!

I have the "I".I have the "L".I have the "O".I have the "V".I have the "E"... so pls

I''m at da police station, they caught me & filed a case agaist me. I''m screwed cos da evidence is very clear, they are charging me wid "POSESSION OF A CUTE SMILE!" HaHa!

UR 100%beautiful, UR 100%lovely, UR 100%sweet, UR 100%nice and UR 100%stupid to believe these words!

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

I''d climb the highest mountain. I''d swim the ocean blue. I''d do anything at all my dear - Just to get away from you.

[The white dog was crossing the road one day and the car hit it slighlty and the dog woke up and said "i nearly died like a dog".

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose t...