Q: Why do blondes love lightning? A: They reckon somebody is taking their photo.
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour coordinated.
Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that cake you just ate.
Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus? A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.
If you were a laser, you''d be set on "stunning".
Q: How do you measure their intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in their ear.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proof-reading.
NEWSFLASH: Blonde girl fired from Banana plantation for throwing out all the bent ones.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I''d have five cents.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: On the back she saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear? A: Got stuck in a hunter''s trap, chewed off it''s 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
It''s with tremendous sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains....yes, her husband just died.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? ''Hold my purse.''
I wonder what our children will look like.
Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don''t have elevator jobs? A: Cos they''ve no idea of the route.
It must be cold in here - or are you just happy to see me?
It''s with great tragedy that I report my blonde next door neighbour tried to kill her toy poodle. She tried putting batteries in it.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Why couldn''t the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes? A: She couldn''t find the recipe.
Q: What does Star Trek''s Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde? A: Space. The final frontier..........
If you were a car, I''d wax and ride you all over town.
Q: How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm? A: E-I-E-I-O.
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: What''s brown, red, black and blue? A: A Brunette who''s been tellin one too many blonde jokes.
I''m wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick. Wanna help me test the claim it won''t kiss off?
Remember: Don''t Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
Q: How do you make a blonde''s eyes Twinkle? A: You shine a torchlight in her ear.
To amuse a Blonde for hours, give her a sheet of paper with ''Please turn over'' scribbled on both sides.
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