Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 13

Dad: ek zamana tha jab main Rs 10/- mein kirana, sabzi, doodh, nashta le aata tha
Beta: ab aisa possible nahi papa kyunki sab jagah CCTV camere lage hote hain!.

PLATFORM se ladki ne utar kar ladke se pucha ki konsa station he???

ladka: no. dogi to bataunga....

ladki: oh,ho mumbai aa gaya....

Maa bete se: uth jaa kambakhat dekh sooraj kab ka nikal aaya hai
Beta: to kya hua amma wo sota bhi to mujh se pehle hai.

Sonu-Yaar,English Me 'Jhopdi' Ko Kya Kehte He

Monu-Hutt

Sonu-Abe,English Aati Nhi To Saaf Saaf Bol Na..hutt hutt kaya bol rahee..

Girl:- mera dil mobile or tum uski sim ho.

boy:- jaanu ek baat puchoo.

girl:-ha puchoo.
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boy:-tumhara mobile double sim wala to nahi hai na...

Boy-Tu kitne baje uthti h?

Girl-Apna koi time nhi
jab dil kare so jati hu,
aur jab dil kare uth jati hu..

Boy-notty!
Tu bilkul mere 'kutte' pe gayi hai..;-)

Grl- ? mere piche apni Zindgi Barbad mt kr ?
Boy- ? Q? ?
Grl- ? is Raste pe Patthr or Kanto k Alwa kuch nhi ?

Boy- ? Are Pagli......... ? mere Pas WOODLAND k Shoes He na bs tu pat ja naa.......!! ?

Ravan ne Shri Ram Ji se mafi mangne ka faisla kiya aur Ayodhya aa gaya.

Mehal ka darvaja knock kiya.

Ram Ji ne door khola.

Ravan soch raha tha...

Guess What ?
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Kis Mooh Se Maafi Maangu?

santa ne college me ladki se i luv u kaha...ladki ne chanta mara or boli kya bola tu..santa -rote hue jab suna nahi to chanta kyun mara..

Santa: 1 aurat ko ghurte hue ja raha tha,
Aurat:'dekhta kya h teri maa ki umar ki hu'
Santa: to mai bhi apne baap k liye hi dhund raha hu...!

A nursry boy proposes a girl:
Boy-I LOVE U
Girl replies-Ek thappad marugi khichke
Boy rplies-MUKKA NAI KHAYEGI JAISE PHIR!
Badi aayi thappad marne wali..

Santa Walking On Road
Samne Gobar Pada Tha
Santa Ne Jhuk Kar Ungli Dal Kar Taste Kia Aur Bola:
Oh!
Ye To Gobar H,Shukr Hai Mera Pair Nai Pada

Teacher-
Batao 'Ganga' kaha se nikalti h & kaha ja k Milti h?

Santa-
Sir Ganga School K Bahane Ghar se Nikal kar Mandir k Piche Kalu Se Milti H

Ek bar NARADJI ne kuch aisa dekha ki wo behosh ho gaye..

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Taakat pane k liye..

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Hanumanji "RAJNIKANT CHALISA" padh rahe the. :

BF & GF dono hans rahe the tabhi BF achanak se chup ho jata h
GF:kya hua?
BF:kuch ni
GF:batao na kuch to hua?
BF:wo hanstey hanstey meri thodi si potti nikal gayi

Teacher-How many planets are there?
Santa -
Mercury, Venus, Jupiter vagerah.
Teacher-
Aur batao?
Santa-
Aur bas sab badhiya!
Mata raani ki kripa.
Aap sunao...??

Boy (kamina) ne 1 ladki ko call ki..

Boy - Hello Jan I love U..

Ladki - Sachi..

Boy - Really..

Ladki (maha kamini) - Jaanu 100 ka recharge karwo do plz...

Boy - Sorry behen wrong number..

Biwi ne Board dekha
Banarsi Saree Rs10
Naylon saree 8/-
Cotton saree 5/-
Wife: mujhe 500
rs do me 50 saree
khridungi
Pati-Surdas ki Ma
ye LAUNDRY ki dukan h

Boy: I love you i can't live without u.. Mar jaunga,Mit jaunga,tere pyar me fanah ho jaunga.. :(

Girl : Hmm.. Dekh le jaise b tujhe thik lage.

Uncle: Kya Kar Rahe Ho Beta Aaj Kal..??
Boy: Ji EnGineering
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Uncle: Ohh.. Humko Laga Padhai-Wadhai Karte Hoge.

Real Story from Assam.
1 Ladka & Ladki pyar karte the.
Ladki k Bap ko pata chal gaya.
Wo gusse me bijli ki wire Ladki ki badan pe rakhne hi wala tha k achanak.





Bijli chali gai.
Ladka chillaya-
Tarun Gogoi jindabad

MORAL-
Agar saccha h apka pyar,To sath h Apke
Assam Sarkar..

Santa-Tum apni biwi ko kya naam se bulate ho?

Banta-Google darling

Santa-Y such name?

Banta-1 sawal, karo 100 jawab deti he..

Teacher: Kutta Dum kuyn halata hai ?
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Santa: Sir Kuyn K Dum Kuttay ko nahi hilla sakti

Boy: Can i have a bite of ur dairy milk?
Girl: Kya main apko janti hu.
Boy: Jaldi de de behen Samosa khake aaya hu.
mirchi lagi hai
drame baad mein kar liyo.

Larki ka Baap Larki se..
Jisse tum pasand karti ho
Uske Paas Bangla, Gaari, Jaayedad to hai na?

Larki: Tauba Hay..
Saare Mard Ek Jaise Hote hain..
Wo bhi Aapke Bare mein Yehi Pooch raha tha!!

Bhakt: Baba mein dukhi hu.
NIRMAL BABA: Aap ke pas SmsJokes4u ke sms aate hai.
Bhakt: Haanji
Baba: Reply karte ho
Bhakt: Nahi
Baba: Roj reply karo..
Kripa aani shuru ho jaygi.

Police:
Hame Aap K Ghar Ki Talashi Leni Hy,
Pata Chala Hy K Aap K Ghar Mai Koi Dehshat Gard Hy.
Husband:
Khabar To Pakki Hy,
Per Abhi WOH Maikay Gai Hui Hy....

Santa:Aap Mujhe School
Kyo Bhejti Hai ?

Mummy:Taki Tum Ek
Achchhe Insan Ban Sako

Santa:Lekin,
Teacher 2 Mujhe Hamesha
Murga Banati Hai !

Ek ladka apni girlfriend ka cell chori se dekhta hai ki mera no: kis naam se saved hai, "janu" ya "sweetu", apne mobile se call kiya to dekha likha tha 'murga no.5 calling'..

ek dost ne dosre dost se pocha: sonu, kya tere papa ko tere cigarette ki adat ki bare main pata hai? to dost ne kaha: aray yaar cigarette ki bare main tu pata nahi magar mere charas ki bare main usko pata hai