Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 17

Camera man studio mein chote bacche se:
Meri taraf dekho beta, is camera se kabutar niklega.
Baccha-
Focus adjust kar,
gawaron wali batein na kar,FB par lagani hai pic..:p

Teacher : Repeat the sentence
"Delhi me Qutub Minar Hai.."
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Student (in a sleepy tone) :
"Dubai mein Kutta beemar Hai....

Pathan Student:
Miss kya raat ko aap mujhe Call kar rahi thi?
Miss:
No
Pathan Student:
Kamal hai
subha mere Mobile pe likha tha: (MISS Call)

Santa- oye yaar! Tu mujhe sms 2-2 baar kyu bhejta hai..?
Banta- oye! Ek sms tu rakh liya kar aur ek forward kar diya kar..

dad-beta batao jaan kahan se nikalti hai?
beta- khirki se.
dad- woh kaise?
beta- kal didi ek larke se keh rahi thi jaan khirki se nikal jao.

Santa: shirt silwane k liye 1 achha kapda dikhao.
Salesman: plain me dikhau?
Santa: nahi helicopter me dikha saale bandar yahi pe dikha,,,:-,

Ek Daaku (Lady Se)
Ye Saare Zevar Mujhe De De?
Lady- Le,
Ye Le,
Payal Le,
Jhumke Le,
Chudi Le,
Chain Le,
Long Le,
Sab Le Le.
Or
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LUGAAI ban Ja Kutte

Boy Ask A Girl "bidayi" Ke Time Pe Ladkiyan Roti Kyu Hai?

Girl:- " KAMAINE" agar tujhe pata chale ki shar se door le jake koi tujhse bartan majvayeda to tu kya nachega

Father: Exam me kitne no. aaye
Santa: 1 nahi aaya, baaki pure aaye hai
Father: Saabas, 99 no laya hai mera beta
Santa: Nahi maine kaha 100 me se 1 nahi aaya, 00 aaye hai

jyotish - tumhari jindagi me14 ladkiya ayengi.
boy-oh yes,ye hui na baat.""what a life""
jyotish -jyada khush mtho bete ek patni or 13 betiya hongi....

Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: wahi mera sabse bada dar hai doctor.

Circuit: Bhai america mein address puchega tho kya bolne ka
Munna: Dhobhi Ghaat
Circuit: Bhai english mein bolneka tho?
Munna: Washington

Ek ladki ne chote bache k gaal pe kiss ki.Girl-oh sorry tumare gaal pe lipstick lag gyi.Baby kuch achcha karne se agar daag lagte he to daag achche hain.

RAKHI SAWANT Train me!
TC- Ticket?
Rakhi-Mera to Chehra hi Ticket hai.
TC- Jurmana lgega!
Rakhi-Q?
TC- Qki Tum 1st CLASS me baithi ho & Chehra 3rd CLASS ka hai.

2Machr Bate Kr Rhe The
1st Bola-Mai Docter Bnuga.

2ndBola-Main Engineer Bnuga.
Itne Me Aunti Ne MoRtIN Jla Di.
Mchr Bole-Sali Ne pura Career Khrab Kr Diya.

Sharabi hawa me COIN uchaalkar bola:
Heads Aaya to WHISKEY, Tails aaya to VODKA.
Zamin par Khada raha to RUM,
Aur
hawa me raha to Aaj se DARU BAND;

Ek Larka Ghar Dair Say Lauta.

Maa:
Kahan Thay?

Beta:
Emotional film
Dekhnay Gaya Tha
'MAA kA PYAR'.
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Maa:
Ab ander Ja kay Action Film Dekh..
'BAAP ki MAAR

2 boys were talking:
1st: Tu bohot accha swimming karta he
kaha pe sikha
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2nd Boy:
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"Pani me

Santa: waiter, ek coffee laana. kitna hai?
Waiter: 50 Rs.
Santa: saamnewaali dukhaan main to 50 ps hai
Waiter: woh xerox dukhaan hai sir

Jailer-Suna he tum shayar ho..Kuchh sunao yaar
Qaidi-"Gum-e-Ulfatme jo zindgi kat ti Hmari
Jis Din zamanat hui us din zndagi khatam Tumhari.

Boy-Cn i Hold ur Hand?
Grl-No!
Boy-Y?
Gal-cz it Hurts whn u Leave it.

Boy-Ma kasam,
Humari Acting!
To Ladkiyo ki Over Acting

Papu- Papa Good News H.
Snta- Kya?
Papu- Apko Yad H Apne Kha Tha K Agr Mai Exam Me Pas Ho Jaun To Muje 5000 Denge. Snta- Han.
Papu- Apke 5000 Bch Gye!.

ek tiger ne zoo me santa ko maar diya bandar ne pucha-tune itni bheed me sirf use hi kyo mara?

tiger:-are yar sala kb se keh rha tha"ENNI WADDI BILLI"....

Dr.-Aapki Biwi Ab Sirf 2 Dino Ki Mehman Hai, I Am So Sorry!

Santa- Sorry Ki Koi Baat Nahi Hai Dr. Saab, Jab 20 Saal Nikal Gaye to 2 Din Bhi Nikal Hi Jayenge..!

SANTA KA NAYA GAS CYLINDER 6 SECOUND ME HI PURA HO GAYA.
KAISE?
Q KI SANTA NE GAS CYLINDER K PAAS ENO RAKHA THA, SIRF 6 SECOND ME KAM SHURU ;) HI HI HI

cycle wale ne 1 Aadmi ko takkar mar di.
Aur bola-Aap bahut lucky ho
Aadmi- kaise
Cycle wala- Aaj meri chutti hai
NAHI TO MAI TRUCK CHALATA HU

Santa Banta ki khub pitai huyi.
Par Q?
Qki
Dono B'Day party
me muft ka khana
khate pakde Gye
aur
kehne lage:Hum
Ladki walo k taraf-
se hai

Husband 2 wife~
"na kajre ki dhar,
na motio k haar.
na koi kiya singar,
phir b kitni sundar ho."
Wife~
oye, saaf-2 bol na ki
"make-up k liye paise ni dunga":-)

Santa gets a msg-
"kya aap Anna Hazaare ke saath hai?"
Santa replies
"Nahi main taan ghare haan...kuch kamm si??"

Mazak ki bhi ek Hadd hoti hai YAAR

Main Ladki ke sath date maar raha tha aur mera dost uske samne aakar bola:
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"kal wali Zyada achi thi"...