Insult Wishes and Status Messages - Page 22

Hi there, I''m a human being! What are you?

I''ve seen more life in a down and out''s vest.

You''re red shirt goes well with your eyes...

Sure, I''ve seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

If yo Momma n Poppa got a divorce, heck, they''d still be Brother and Sister

Your mommas so old someone told her to act her age and she died

Yo moma is so fat when it rains she uses a highway for a slip ''n'' slide

Listen buddy, your mommy is so freakin dumb that if you told her pappa was a rolling stone, she''d tell her momma to put mick jagger on child support!

Yo Momma so damn fat the Police where going to use her as an emergency air mattress when Michael Jackson started dangling his baby.

Yo moma so fat when she wears a yellow rain coat all the people yell "taxi"

Hey, your Momma is so sluttie I''d call her a hoe but hoes'' get paid.

Yomomma so hairy that when she puts her arm to her side it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.

Yo Moma sooooo ugly, I could have been yo Daddy but the dog beat me under the fence!

Yo momma is soooooo stupid, she wears a t-shirt that says "hukd on fonicks woorkd fo mi"

You gotta tell yo moma to stop changing lipstick color - I''m now getting a freakin Rainbow on my d**k!

Yo Momma''s like a Snickers bar - packed full with with nuts.

Yo Momma so mad that she even made Kurt Russell escape from LA.

Drive carefully:



90% of people in this world are caused by accidents...

On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!

Your birthcertificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.

Man: Say, haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you're dead right...I want you to go away!

Wife: Darling, do you think I'll lose my looks as I get older
You: With luck, yes

Work Colleague: Do you find me entertaining?
You: I reckon you are too dim to entertain a thought

Old Wife: Shall I put the TV on? Old Man: Well it would certainly improve the view in here...

You know, I've been asked to get married over a hundreds times.
Yeah, but your parents don't count...

How many people work in your office?
About half of them

Brother: I love biscuits
You: That's cuz your crackers

You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice.