Insult Wishes and Status Messages - Page 23

Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a Female Impersonator.

Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.

Hey, I may be fat, but you will always be ugly, and I can diet.

Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.

Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: NO
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me...I said, You Look fat in those pants.

Little Sister: Your Ugly.
You: And your quite good looking...for a Gorilla, that is...

Do you notice how I've kept my youthful complexion?
Yeah, so I see...all spotty

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine.

Man: So, what's your sign?
Woman: No Entry

Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.

Friend: I've just come back from the Beauticians
You: Pity it was closed...

Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell

Friend: I've changed my mind...
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?

Boss: Employees like that don't grow on trees you know...
You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them...

This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number