Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 11

Husband: You know, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: You are right, I still got mine with me!!!

Banti asked Ballu"I watch TV in my liesure time,what about you?"
Ballu simply replied""I watch TV when my wife and mother quarrel with each other"!!

Patient To Nurse:
I Don't Want To Get Well Because I Love You!

Nurse:
You Wont Get Well Ever,
Bcoz
Doctor Has Seen You Kissing Me & He Loves Me Too! ;)

Appu: I want you to explain why I have to wear these same old clothes.

Pappu: Bcoz if u don`t, you could scare the dog.

Devil:
Send
Sam To America,
Tom To Britain,
Pat To France,
Ching To Japan..

Assistant:
Whom for India?

Devil:
None,
I am satisfied with CONGRESS!

Lady Goes to a Fruit Shop
Shopkeeper:Ur Dog is eating my Fruits
Lady:- Shona,Dont eat d Fruit widout washing them

Dr:
I Have A Medicine,
It Will Make U Young Again!

70Yr Old Man:
No!
I don't want to be Young.

Dr:
Why?

Old Man:
I Will Not Get My Pension Then!

Teacher : Tell Any Microsoft Product Name?

Sam : MS Excel

Deepu: MS Word

Rony: MS PowerPoint

CHIKKU: After Thinking A Lot-

"MS Dhoni".

Boy-I Love U
Girl-shut up

Boy-I"ll die 4 u
Girl-Shut up

Boy-I can't live without u
Girl-Shut up

Boy-I"ll marry u
Girl-Really

Boy-Shut up....!

Banta: Did Ramesh furnish his whole house with second-hand stuff?
Santa: Yes, he even married a widow.

A man was appearing and disappearing in yamaraj's window..
YAMA:R U PLAYING GAME WITH ME?
Man:no sum stupid internee is giving me cardiopulmonary resusciation..

He: Darling, if you marry me, I will satisfy your smallest wishes.
She: And what about the big wishes.

Boy : Do u love me?
Girl : yes
Boy starts running
Girl asks : Where r u going?
Boy : Im going to update my relationship status on facebook

Santa: What do you mean, u got that black eye from a fire?
Banta: My wife caught me kissing an old flame.

Banta: What is the difference between a nail and a boxer? Santa: One gets knocked in the other gets knocked out.

Santa was cooking Murgi,Wen he added Hara Dhaniya guess wat Happened?The Murgi start Dancing & Singing ''HUM PE YEH KISNE HARA RANG DALA.MAAR DAALA.

Santa (to receptionist of hotel): Can U give me a room & a bath? Receptionist: I can give U a room, but U will have 2 have a bath yourself.

A Kid On His Way 2 Home With His Mom Saw A Couple Kissing On The Road,
He Said: Look Mom look,that boy n girl r Fighting For A Chewing GUM.

Wife: Can you explain to me how this lipstick got on your collar? Husband: No, I really can't. I distinctly remembered having taken my shirt off.

sms wsms kuch nahi hota
sirf ye dil ko dilasa dena hota h
jine humhain yaad karna hota h wo aise hi yaad kar lete hain.

Her: I broke your heart once and I don't intend to do it again. Him: I believed you once and I also don't intend to do it again. :-(:-(

("._.")
/")("
(")(")
Me apse nalaj hu. Meko na-meko na ap yad nai kalte ol ashmsh bhi ni bhejte hai. Aisa tholi hota hai.
katti...

A boy was going with his girlfriend.

Friend asked: Who is she?

Boy: My cousin

Friend: Last year she was my cousin

A kid went 2school 4the first time.Teacher told her ifu had 2 go 2 Toilet,raise ur index finger.Kid is puzzled n asks,Thats going 2 stop it?

Santa:I know an engaged couple who hav a prblm.Banta:Wat is d prblm
Santa:She wants 2 mary him wen he is not drunk he wont mary her wen he is sober

A depressed person got connected 2 a call center in Pakistan.He said he was on the verge of suicide.They got excited and askd...Can u fly a plane...?!--

Proffeser to stdnt-
what is attentn deficit hypractive disordr??

Stdnt-
jumbalakadi bamba! Holsga volsga...
Proffesr- i din't get u...
Stdnt- same here..!!

SANTA : “When you buy a note book there will be no margin in it. Why is it so?”

BANTA : “Simple, it is because I always buy the note book from a Margin-Free Market!!”

Manager: what is your qualification?
Santa:- Sir, i am PHD.
Manager:(Shocked) what do u mean by PHD?
Santa:- Sir Passed Highschool with Difficulty....

The captain of a team says to the Umpire,
“My players want to know if there is a penalty for thinking.”
The Umpire says, “No.”
The captain says,
“Well we think you’re an asshole, then.”