Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages

Hsband- Ji krta h k

tumhari zulfo Me kho Jau

Tumhari ankho Me bus Jau

Tumhari baho Me jhool Jau.

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wife- DEVANAND hi rahoge

ya

kabhi IMRAN HASHMi Bhi Bnoge...!

Wife to drunk husband: From now on,

if ur lips touch liquor

u will never touch my lips

Husband: awwww??

Wife: Now What r u thinking??

Husband: deciding,

18yr old Scotch

or

42yr old lips?

Love aur arrange marrige me kia farq hai?
Simple
Love marrige me ap apni girl friend se shadi krte hen..
Aur
Arange marrige me ksi or ki girlfriend se:)

A Couple Before Marriage
'MAD' For Each Other …
After Marriage
'MADE' For Each Other …
And
A Few Years Later
'MAD' Because Of Each Other…

Why do couples hold hands
during their wedding day?.?.?.?
It is just a formality,
like two boxers shaking hands b4
the fight begins…

Ek scientist ne SHAADI kya hoti hai, ye
samjhne ke liye shadi kar li..
Aur shadi k bad wo aaj tak ye nahi samajh paya k..
SCIENCE kya hota he.

Pati Ne Patni Ke Janamdin Par Ek Kitaab Gift Me Di..

* Kitaab Ka Naam Tha......*

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"Jiyo Aur Jeene Do".!

Santa: Jab Shadiyan Swarg Me Tay Hoti Hain To Nark Me Kya Tay Hota Hai? Banta: Nark Me Shadi Ke Baad Ke Din Tay Hote Hain.

HUS: kal raat mene sapna dekha
WIFE: kya?
HUS: Tumhe koi utha le jaraha he
WIFE: fir aapne kya kiya?
HUS: uski madat ki, tumhe uthane me

Wife= agr me kho jau, to tum kya kroge

husband=me nirmal baba ke pas jauga

wife=baba se kya kahoge

husband=baba kirpa aani suru ho gyi h

Wife- shadi k shuru me jb mai khana banati thi to aap mujhe jyada khilate the aur khud kam khate the par ab aisa kyu nhi?
Husband- q ki ab tumhe khana banana aa gya hai.......

patni - me tumhare sapno me ati hoon
pati - nahi
patni - kyon nahi ?
pati - kyonki me hanuman chalisa padkar sota hoon

A husbands version:

My wife is like "Terms & conditions" of a Website !

I never understand what she says

but

I always accept !!

On a wall in a ladies room: My husband follows me everywhere.
Writ
ten just below it: I do not.

Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come =))

Wife :

It's my bad luck day I married you !

Otherwise

Lots of Smart Boys were interested in me :/

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Husband :

Of course

they Must Be Smart :

thats whY they Escaped from You

Defintion Of Arrange-Marriag­e:

"Bika Hua MaaL Wapis Nahi Hoga" .

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Defintion Of Love-Marriage:-­

"PehLe IstemaL Kre fir Vishwas Kre.!"

How to Make a Wife Happy??
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It's not at all difficult. Tips-
Be a
1.friend
2.companion
3.lover
4.chef
5.electrician
6.carpenter
7.plumber
8.mechanic
9.decorator
10.stylist



51.driver
52.psychologist
53.pest exterminator
54.psychiatrist
55.healer



102.good listener
103.organizer
104.good father

New weddings Style
NIKAH:
Molvi: Do you agre To change your FaceBok status from Single To Married?
Boy: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Girl: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Molvi: Congratulation ur prfile updated sucesfuly. You are now Husband and Wife You May now upload your wedding pictures and don’t forgeT To Tag Me!;-)

Evolution of man :

Shadi se pehle :hero no. 1
Shadi k baad : coolie no. 1

Shadi se pehle : maine pyar kiya
Shadi k baad : ye maine kya kiya ??

Shadi se pehle : Janeman mat jao
Shadi k baad : jaan mat khao

Shadi se pehle : tum bin raha na jaye
Shadi k baad : tum ko saha na jae

Husband ne paan kharid kr wife ko khany k lye dia

Wife: Aap ne apne lye Q nhi lia?

Husband:

mein to wese hi kham0sh reh sakta hon

Man outside phone booth :

Excuse me !!

You are holding the phone since 20 mins.

&

haven't spoken a word..

Man inside - Sir

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I'm talking to my wife :D =D =))

Topic over.

Wife to husband: zara kitchen se machis lana...!
Husband: yahan to koi machis nahi hai... :o
Wife: mujhe pata tha tum to ho he andhay tumhain
milega he nahi is liye me pehle he le aayi thi..

Shaadi karna utna hi aasan he jitna ki Loose Motion karna
Aur nibhana utna hi mushkil jitna use ROK ke rakhna....

Newly married wife husband se: Tumne apne doston se yeh kyun kaha ki mujhe bahut accha khana banana aata hai.

Husband: Ab tumse shaadi karne ki koi wajah toh mujhe batani hi thi.

MOM to CHILDREN: Jo Meri Baat Manega aur mere Aage kuch Nahi Bolega,
Main Use Gifts dungi..
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Children: Lo ji, Is Tarah to saare gifts Papa hi Le jayenge!!

Wife: Maine Suna He K Jannat Me Aadmi Ko Apsra Milti He
To
Aurton Ko kya Milta He?
Husband: Kuch Nahi
Q ki
Bhgwan Sirf Dukhiyon Ki Sunta He

1Aadmi God Se
Tune Bachpana Diya Cheen Liya,
Jawani Di Cheen Li
Paisa Diya Wapas Le Liya,
Ab Ye Biwi Di He
To Dekar Bhool Gaya Kya.

wIfe:Mai maRny jA raI hun.
HusbAnd:Ye lO daiRy miLk .
wIfe: Q?
husbAnd:khusHi k mOqay pe kucH meEthA hO jaYee..

Wotz The Similarity Between Sun & Wife??
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Socho
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Yahi Ky
Dono Ki Taraf Ankh Utha Kar Nahin Dekha Ja Sakta Hai