Q. Why did the ref call a penalty during the Leper Hockey game? A. Because there was a face off in the corner.
Q. What''s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? A. The taste!
Q. What should Kabul get for its air defense system? A. A refund.
Q. What do you call 100 men at the bottom of the ocean? A. A good start.
Q. How many ears did Davy Crockett have? A. Three - his left ear, his right ear, and his wild front ear.
Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs that can swim across a pool? A. Clever Dick
Q. What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? A. Swim!
Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro? A. Fill it with gas.
Q. What do you call a cow with no legs? A. Ground beef.
Q. Why did the tree fall down? A. The koala forgot to let go.
Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb? A. None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
Q. What do you do if a bird shits on your car? A. Don''t ask her out again.
Q. Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping? A. He loved it, but it scared the hell out of his dog.
Q. What''s the definition of mixed emotions? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. Why did the Leper go back into the shower? A. He forgot his Head and Shoulders.
Q. What do you get when a Leper takes a bath? A. Soup.
Q. What is Osama bin Laden''s idea of safe sex? A. Marking the camels that kick.
Q. What''s the difference between a woman and a computer? A. A computer only needs the information punched into it once.
Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common? A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes.
Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors? A. Because if it had four doors it''s be a chicken sedan.
Q. Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they''re selling in stores now? A. It comes with all of Ken''s stuff.
Q. What does a skeleton get when he goes to a bar? A. A beer and a mop.
Q. What do you call Maoris on Prozac? A. Once were worriers.
Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? A. About two - if they''re thinly sliced.
Q. What''s the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche? A. The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Q. What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? A. Wipe him off, apologize and RUN!
Q. What''s a Lepers favorite sport? A. Football.
Q. What''s a hindu? A. Lays eggs.
Q. Why did the leper crash his car? A. He left his foot on the accelerator.
Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A. Because it was dead.
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