Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 9

Boy :kaha ja rahi ho?
Girl : aatmahatya karne
boy : to itna MAKEUP kyu kiya hua hai?:/
girl :abe gadhe ! Kal Newspaper me photo aegi na.

BF to GF:
Hm dono kuch time sath rehte hai
Agr mizaaj mile to shadi kr lenge
Or koi galti hui
to alag ho jaynge.
Girl: 'Galti' kis k paas rahegi

Tchr-jo mere agle sawal ka jawab dega, wo ghar ja sakta he.
Tabhi santa apna bag bahar fek deta he.
Tchr-wo bag kisne feka?
Santa-Mene. Ab me ghar ja rha hu

Master : Khali jaga pura karo..

900 chuhay kha kar Billi___chali..

Stdnt: 900 chohay kha kr Billi Matak Matak kr chali..

Master(Ghusse se)
Kharay ho jao, mazak krte ho?

Stdnt: Sir ye B mene ap ka dil rkhne k liye keh dia warna
900 chuhay kha kr Billi chal to kya Hil b nhi sakti...!

Ek_Aurat faSt
Chalti train me
Chadi to logo ne
Kaha: "Kamaal ki
Aurat hai..!"
tO Aurat ne
Kaha: "Kamaal tO
mera devar
Hy
me tO Jamaal ki
Aurat hu

Raat ko sohar aur biwi soo rahe they. Ek dam se biwi ko sohar ki awaaz aayi, biwi uth kar sohar se poocha, “kya baat hai?”
Sohar ne bataaya, “ke meri kameez zameen par gir pari thi”
Biwi ne kaha ke, “toh itna shor kyun machaya”
Sohar bola, “ke uss kameez mein main bhi tha!!!”

Son: papa idhar aa..
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Maa: beta aisa nhi bolte papa hai tmhare, izzat k sath bulate hai.
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Son: papa izzat ke sath idhar aaja..

Ek Machar aur Makkhi ki shaadi hui.Agle din Makkhi ro rahi thi.Uski saheli ne pucha kya hua bahen.WO Boli raat me maine Gudnight jala Di Tumhare jija mar Gaye

Rahul- mere pet me chuuhe kood rahe hai.

Sonam- tu chuuhe maarne ki dawaai lele.

bf drinking
Whiskey with her girlfriend..
Asks him-tum kaun ho........??
girlfriend-pgal ho gaye ho kya
Apne jaanu ko bhool gye ..
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boyfriend- nasha har gum ko bhula deta hai..
Bahan
gf shocked, bf rocked..

Father: beta ..!
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Tu ne Engineering K 4 Saalo Mein Sab Se Mushkil Kaam Kon Sa Seekha......?
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Son: Bus Ki Chatt Pe baith K....Tezz Hawaon Mein 1 Teeli Se 3 Cigarette Jalana...

Makan malik1 ladki ko ghar dikha rha tha,
Ladki-suna hai yaha bhoot rahte he,
Makan malik-pata nhi bahen,
mujhe to mare hue 7 saal ho gye he

Dada ji :- Beta jaa pani le aa,.
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1st pota :- m nhi jaa sakta game khel rha
hu,
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2nd pota :- rehne do dada ji,ye to battmiz
hai,
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Aap khud hi jakar le aao...!!

Purane students ki Gathering mein teacher ne puchha,

"School mein aapka koi Kadva Anubhav?"

Ek student bola,

Me aur meri wife isi school mein mile the!

Couple of Engineering college:-

Girl: You dnt love me na??

Boy huged her tightly & said silently.
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"dekh abhi SUBMITION chal rahe he dimag kharab mat kar...

'Maa apne Totlay Bete se:

Beta aaj hum jahan larki dekhne ja rahe hain

tum wahan kuch bolna mat.

Warna ye log bhi mana kardenge.

Beta: Theet hai.

Larki walon k ghar jab Larki chai lai to Larka chai peetay hi bola:

Dalam hai Dalam...

Larki foran boli:

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oyyyyyyyyyyy.

Phoot maar Phoot

Bhakt: Baba ji ladki nahi pat ti.. Nirmal baba: last time ladki kab or kaha dekhi? BHAKT:Baba ji, aaj subah Mohalle mein dekhi....
Nirmal baba: Bas yahi se kripa ruki huyi hai. Aisa hai ki kal se maholle ke bahar bhi muh maaro.... Kripa aani shuru ho jaye gi...

Santa daku se- Oye meri bhen ka dupatta wapis kar.
daku bndook nikal k.. Kya baat hai?
santa- Kuch nhi bhai ji piko krwani thi...

Gabar to Sambha

Gabar: Sambha Gande..

Sambha: Tu Ganda tera pura Khandaan Ganda Saale.

Gabar: Sambha!! Namakharam GUN-DE-GUN

1pagal Aaina Dekh k sochne lga,
isko kahin dekha h.
thodi der sochne k baad
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"O Teri " ye to wohi hai
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jo Mere sath us din Baal ktwa raha tha!

Boss:mere liye ek shisha le ke aao,
Jisme mai apna muh dekh saku...!
Santa:nahi mila sir,
Sab shisho par mera hi Muh Dikhay de raha tha...

Once A couple went 2 a
resturant..
BF: kya logi tum.?
GF: tum jo kaho..
BF: Achcha..waiter Menu lana..
GF: (in shy) Me bhi menu
khaungi.

Ek ladka ro raha tha
Dad: kyun ro raha hai
Ladka: mujhe shadhi karni h
Dad: kisse
Ladka : Apki maa se
Dad: kyun
Funny kid : Apne meri maa se kyun ki thi

Agar koi anjan ladki apko dekhke muskurai to kya wo apse pyar karte hai?

Are nahi bafukuf - apne pant ka zip check kar.....

Boy-Hey I Have Just Installed Windows
8 In My Pc :D
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Girlz: Kis Zamane Ka Hai Tu Gawar, Im Using Windows 98..!!

Teacher aur Umpire ek jaise
hote hain..
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Dono karte kuch nahi, bas
khade khade Ungli karte rehte
hain.!!

DRINKERS movies banate toh-
1)Soda Akbar
2)Rab Ne Pila di Thodi
3)Rum de basanti
4)Hum tight ho chuke sanam
5)Beer Zaara
6)Bewde Zameen par.

Circuit: Bhai, apun ne kal Sania Mirza se phone
pe baat ki.
Munna bhai: Arre wah, kya kaha usne.
Circuit: Usne kaha, Mamu wrong number!!

Santa Khudkushi par speech de raha tha
Khudkushi Paap hai
Zulm hai Gunah hai
Buzdili hai Pagalpan hai
khudkushi krne se behtar hai insan khud ko
Goli maarle!

Santa k ek sentence ne photographer ko pagal kr diya...
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Yaar mera pasport size photo nikal
Lekin meri chapal bhi aani chahiye...:-)