Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 16

if a girl get 98% mark her response,
kamina 2 mark or de deta to uska kya jata tha,
if boy gets 35% mark he says:
check karne wala farishta tha yaar:-)

A Tamilian call up Santa and asks " tamil therima??"
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Santa got mad.. angrily replied..



"Hindi tera baap!!!"

Boy to friend: Dekho voh ladki meri taraf dekh ke muskura rahi hai.

Friend: Yeh to kutch bhi nahi, jab maine pehli bar tumari shakal dekhi thi to 3 din apni hassi nahi rok paya tha.

Geogrphy sir:Batao bacho bharat me sabse jyada baarish kaha girti he?
After thinking &
Jai said" Zameen par.

Santa sabji lene gya.
Sabji wala sbji pr pani chidk rha tha.
Santa intzar krta rha,
Jb kafi der ho gai to bola:-Agar ineh hosh aa gya ho to 1 kilo tol de...

Malik- Aaj Tumne Roti Me Jayada Ghee Laga Diya Hai.


Naukar- Galti Ho Gai Malik.
Lagta Hai Maine Aapko Aapni Roti De Di Hai

Doctor- Tum Toh Mamuli Dard Bataa Rahe They, Lekin Tumhari Toh Dhadkan Bhi Kaafi Badhi Huee Hai
Sonu- Woh Toh Aapki Fees Dekh kar Badhi Hai.

Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha
Usne MUrgi se sadi ki
Thode time baad Murgi ne Khrgosh ko Jnam diya


Ye sb kya he?



AJAB PREM KI GAJAB KAHANI!

Baap: (Bachay Se)

Ravi Or Chanab Kahan Par Hain?

Bacha: (Ghabra Kar)

Ammi Jaan Se Pochain.

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Wohi Chezain Idhar Udhar Rakh Deti Hain. :-)

WIFE: Tum toh Kehte the Ki Shadi K baad bhi Mujhe Bahut Pyaar Karoge,
HUSBAND: Sorry yar! Mujhe Malum Nhi Tha Ki Tumhari Shaadi Mujhse Hogi

Husband Makes a Glass of Whisky & asks wife: Lo Pio isko!

Wife tastes & says: Chhi, Kitni karvi hay!

Husband: Aur tu sochti hay K mein Roz Ayyashi Karta hun!

TEACHER:Wo 3 Words Batao
Jo Sabse Jyada Bole Jate He?



STUDENT:Muje Nahi Pata.



TEACHER:Shabash Beta, Baith Jao.

Patni-Sasurji Ne Dusri Shadi Kar Li, Aap Unse Kuch Kehte Q Nahi

Pati-Q K, Unhone Mujhse Wada Kia H

Koi Acha Sa Rishta Dekh K Teri B Karwa Dunga.

SANTA ne Apni Car k Niche Kutte ko Leta Hua Dekha to Kutte ko Punch se Khicha or Kaha








Bahar nikal Saale, Bada aya Automobile Enginer

Ek Boy Bike Se Ja Raha Tha
Ladki Ko Dekh Achanak Gir Gya
Ladki-Oh My God! Lagi To Nhi
Boy- Are Nhi Re Pagli, HmTo Aise Hi Bike Se Utarte He

customer:Bhai sahab is underwear ki kya garranty hai?shopkeeper:5 v manjil se kood k dekho,tum phat jayoge par underwear nahi...!!

Raavan sita ka haran karne k liye cycle lekar aya. Ye dekh kar sita ne ram ko phone kiya to ram bole are tum fikar mat karo usko do savari nahi ati hai.

Customer-Teri Cow Ki 1 Ankh Kharab Hai, Fir Bhi Tu
25,000 Mang Rha He.
Santa-Tuze Cow Dudh Pine K Liye Leni Hai Ya Nain-Matkka K Liye

johny lever: I lost my cheque book.
Bank manager: B carefull any one can put ur sign!
Johny: I'm not a fool, i have already signed all the cheques..............keepsmilng

Santa:Meri Premika Ki Mang Itani Badi Thi Ki Mujhe Usase Rishta Todna Pada.
Banta: Uski Mang Kya Thi

Santa: Shadi ki.

WIFE ....


BIWI ...

AUR


PATNI...


mein kya fark hai ?
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SOCHO...
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Kuch fark nahi hai dost. Ye musibat ke 3 alag alag name hai.

Bikari- Rupia Dede
Snta-"Sharam Nai Aati Itne Hatte Katte Khubsurt Ho K Bheek Mangte Ho
bikari- Acha To Phir Apni Behen Ka Rishta Dede

Sharma:- Ek Problem He
Yaar, Meri Beti Jawaan Ho Gai He Kya Karu.?

Verma:- Jawaan Ho Gai Hai To Border Pe Bhej De,
Sare Jawan Wahi Jate He.

DAD apko pata chale ki me 1st division pas hua to apko kesa lgega
DAD -me to
KHUSI SE PAGAL ho jaunga
KID -Bus isi DAR se me FAIL hogya

Cute prayer Child:god:Plz i don't want 3rd world war
God:Y? u luv ur country so much?
Child -No God i am weak in history i can't study another war..:-(:-)..

Wife- Pados wale Pappu ki beti ko Math mein 99 marks mile


Husband- Arre yaar!
1 no. Kahan gya??


Wife- Wo hmara
beta laya hai.

Teacher to boy:

1 taraf paisa,
1 taraf dimag

Kya hoga?

boy: paisa

teacher:galat, agar main hoti to dimag leti

boy: jiske pas jo nahi vo wahi leta he

Santa: Kya Daru Pine se khaansi jati h?
Banta: Kyun nhi jayegi? Jab mera ghar, khet, paisa sab kuchh chala gaya to teri khansi kya cheej h

Dr.Ab tum bilkul thik ho gaye ho phir b kyo dar rahe ho?
Mariz: Ji, Jis gadi se mera accident hua tha uspe likha tha 'phir milenge'

Chinese Larki KO Dekh Kr Mom Boli-Beta ye Kya Le Aye hO?

Santa-ApNe khud hi To Kaha tha k Ghar Aate huye cheeni Lete Aana.