Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 17

santa to rikshawala : Are o bhai khali ho kya
Rikshawala: Haan bilkul khali hoon
santa: Aao Chalo Phir Tash khelte hain..

BV-Mera Manna hai Shadi ek lotery Hai
Pati-Mai aisa nahi manta
BV-Kyu
Pati-Qki lautry me dobara kismat azmane ka mauka jo milta hai

police to sharabi-:
kahan ja raha hai be,
sharabi daru pine se hone wale nuksaan par parvachan sun ne ja rha hoon,
police itni raat ko koun deta hai parvachan,
sharabi meri biwi

Santa bakri leker bus me chadha is baat pe cndctor ne use dhakka maar k bahar kar diya.santa bola-Agar mere sath ladies sawari na hoti to phir mai tujhe batata.

boy-tumhari aankhain kitni haseen hai,
girl-choro na,
boy-tumhare baal kitne khubsurat hai,
girl-choro na aap bhi,
boy-abhi tak to chor hi raha tha...

Lion- O budhia ruk, mujhe tera khooon peena hi.
Budhia- lion bhai kisi javan ladki ka pio uska khoon garam hoga,
Lion-nahi aaj mera COLDDRINK pine ka man hai.

ek memon ki plate se murgi ka tukda utha kar billi bhaag gayi
memon ne bahot koshish ki use pakadne ki par pakad na saka
to bola ya allah is ka sawaab abba marhoom ko mile...

Pathan Kone Me Chup K Mobile Pe Kisi Se
Ahista Se Bat Kr raha Tha



Aadmi: Khan Sahab Larki Se Baten Kr rahe Ho

Pathan: Khuda Ka Qasam Larki Nahi Mangetar Hai.

Ladki Deo laga ke Bus pe chadhi, Ladke ne comment paas kiya 'Aajkal Phinayal ka Use zyada hota hai'

Ladki boli: 'Fir bhi makkhiya pichha nahi chhodte'

Sadhu:
we go years
without verbal communication..

we call it 'MAUNVRAT'...!!


Man:
we have
the same experience,
but we call it 'MARRIAGE'...!!

kanjoos baap bete se-:
meri dili khwaish hai ki tum bade hokar wakil bano,
son wo kyu?
kanjoos-:taki mera black coat tumhare kaam aa jaye...

Teacher: Chaman,
If Your Father Earned $100,000
And Gave Half Of It To Your Mother,
What Would She Have?

Chaman: A Heart attack

Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta:nahi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen k kha lena.

Santa: Yaar aaj to 1 Rs. me 3 amrood mil gye.
Banta: Wo kaise?

Snta: 1 Rs. ka 1 usne dia, 1 mai utha k bhag gya, or 1 usne muje fek ke mara...

Principal : y r u late..all ur classmates came to class in time..??!!


Student :
"jhund me kutte ate hain sir......
sher to akela ata hai "

boss:pichle 6 mahino mein tumne kitni chhutiya li hai.kabhi bimari,to kabhi honeymoon,bacheki bimari.ab kya hai?

karamchari:kal meri shaadi hai.

Patient:mujhe bemari hai,khane k baad bhookh nahi lagati, sone k baad nind nahi aati kaam karu to thak jata hu, Dr: saari rat dhup me betho thik ho jaoge

santa was playing Chess with his Dog!

Friend: Aray wahhh! tera kutta to buhat intelligent hai....

santa: kiya khaak intelligent hai,

5 me sey 3 to mai jeeta hun...

Ladka- Apni class fellow se, Tum paas ho gayi ho?
GirL- Haa bilkuL!
Ladka- to muh to meetha karwa do!
GirL- Kis se?

Ladka- Chalo kiss se he karwa do...

:-D
Gm

Sante ki BV bhaag gai.
3 din baad wapis aaye
santa gusse se bola
"Hun ki lain aayi ain''

Preeto:

"Mobile da charger".

Tchr:Galti hone pe maafi magne waale ko kya kehte hai.?
Stud:Samajhdar.
Tchr:Aur galti na hone pe b mafi magne waale ko kya kehte hai.?



Stud:Boyfrnd...

girl-:teri yaad me neend udti hai,
chain khota hai kuch kuch hota hai,
boy-:doctor ko dikha lo swine flu aise hi hota hai,

Miss: Aaj Tum Late Q Aae?
School 7 baje Shuru Hota Hai Fir der Q Ki?

Kid:Miss,Aap Meri Itni Fikar Mat Kiya Karo Log Galat Samajhte Hai.!

Teacher 2 Santa:Ur son is a fool c report Card
Eng- 6Maths- 7Sci- 4Sst-8Pbi- 8TOTAL- 33
S:'Total' me to kamaal hi kar diya, Iski to tution b nhi thi

Santa ki 10 betiyan thi phir ja
kar uske ghar 1 beta paida hua.
Santa ne uska naam kya rakha
hoga?
.
.
.
.
MUSHKIL SINGH.

1Ladki Ko Maine Bola
*Good Morning*
*
*
*
Ek Ladki Ko Maine Bola
*Good Morning*
*
*
or
Ladki Ke Baap Ne Mujhe Bola
*THIS IS LAST WARNING*

Beta: Papa ye SMS kise kahte hai or Ye kiske kaam aata hai?
!
Papa: Beta Ye VIP Log bhejte hai
or KANJOOS Logo k padhne k kaam aata hai.

Santa Sasural Gaya
Uski sasu ne use 7 din tk subeh-sham Palak ka sag khilya
8ve din pucha kya khaoge
Santa- khet dikha do khud hi char Aunga.

1980-bhaisab enginir sahab ka ghar konsa hai?
wo jobada bangala hai wo
2014-xcuse me yaha enginir sahab ka ghar konsa hai?
abey kisi b ghar me ghus ja

Do Machar Aapas me bate kr rhe the-kaisa kalyug aa gya he

Chuhedani me chuha
Sabundani me sabun
Pr
machhardani me hmari jagah aadmi sota hai