Most Popular Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages

Wife: Hi, Did You Eat?
Husband: Did You Eat?
Wife: Are You Copying Me?
Husband: Are You Copying Me?
Wife: I Love You!
Husband: Yes, I Already Ate

Love aur arrange marrige me kia farq hai?
Simple
Love marrige me ap apni girl friend se shadi krte hen..
Aur
Arange marrige me ksi or ki girlfriend se:)

patni - me tumhare sapno me ati hoon
pati - nahi
patni - kyon nahi ?
pati - kyonki me hanuman chalisa padkar sota hoon

What’s the similarity between sun and wife?
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Yehi k dono ki taraf ANKH utha k nahi dekh sakte

Wife= agr me kho jau, to tum kya kroge

husband=me nirmal baba ke pas jauga

wife=baba se kya kahoge

husband=baba kirpa aani suru ho gyi h

A Couple Before Marriage
'MAD' For Each Other …
After Marriage
'MADE' For Each Other …
And
A Few Years Later
'MAD' Because Of Each Other…

Why do couples hold hands
during their wedding day?.?.?.?
It is just a formality,
like two boxers shaking hands b4
the fight begins…

Defintion Of Arrange-Marriag­e:

"Bika Hua MaaL Wapis Nahi Hoga" .

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Defintion Of Love-Marriage:-­

"PehLe IstemaL Kre fir Vishwas Kre.!"

Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come =))

Wife- shadi k shuru me jb mai khana banati thi to aap mujhe jyada khilate the aur khud kam khate the par ab aisa kyu nhi?
Husband- q ki ab tumhe khana banana aa gya hai.......

New weddings Style
NIKAH:
Molvi: Do you agre To change your FaceBok status from Single To Married?
Boy: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Girl: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Molvi: Congratulation ur prfile updated sucesfuly. You are now Husband and Wife You May now upload your wedding pictures and don’t forgeT To Tag Me!;-)

Advocate:Talak Karvane K Rs10,000 Lagenge.
Husband:Pagal Ho Kya?Pandit Ne Rs 101 Me Shadi Karvai Thi.
Advocat:Dekh Liya Na Saste Ka Natija

Aey Khuda Mere Wo Tamaam Gunha Maaf karma
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Jin Ki Wajah Se Meri Shadi Ruki Hui Hai

Note- Shadi Shuda Log "Ruki" Lafz Hataa Kar Padhe.. ;-)

Lady At Police Stn:
Plz Find My Husbnd,
I'l Die Witout Him!

Police:
Wah!
Itna pyar?

Lady:
No,
He Is The Only Who
Earns,
Cooks,
Washes Cloths
& Cleans D House

On a wall in a ladies room: My husband follows me everywhere.
Writ
ten just below it: I do not.

Husband ne paan kharid kr wife ko khany k lye dia

Wife: Aap ne apne lye Q nhi lia?

Husband:

mein to wese hi kham0sh reh sakta hon

''An Intelligent Wife Is One
Who Makes Sure She Spends
So Much
That
Her Husband
Can't Afford Another
Women....

Y do Bride's Parents need to pay Dowry in marriage.?

CA STUDENT:
Because Excise Duty on Production is payable at the time of Removal

wife to husband ;dear this computer is not working as per my command..............husband;darling ..it's a computer not a husband

As per research

A man speaks 25,000 words daily
&
A woman speaks 30,000

Problem starts when husband comes home
from office after consuming his 25,000 words
&
wife starts her 30,000..

Full form of SHADI
S-Shanti Bhang
H-Himmat Khatam
A-Azadi Samapt
D-Dimag Kharab
I-Imtihan Chalu

Whats a marriage??
A marriage is an agreement where the men's lose their bachelors and woman gain their masters.

Mom to children: I will give the gifts to the one who will listen to me and will not utter a word before me
Children: oh no! it means that Dad will get all the gifts.

Wife:
Why are you back home so early?


Husband:
At office
boss told me
"Go to Hell..." ;) :)

Hsband- Ji krta h k

tumhari zulfo Me kho Jau

Tumhari ankho Me bus Jau

Tumhari baho Me jhool Jau.

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wife- DEVANAND hi rahoge

ya

kabhi IMRAN HASHMi Bhi Bnoge...!

Bhagwan ne ek admi ki yadasht mita di phir ussse pucha:-Kuch yaad hai tumhe?
Usne apni biwi ka naam bata diya.
Bhagwan:-Formet karne k baad bhi Virus nahi gaya.

Wyf-Tumne mujhe shadi se phle Q nahi bataya k tumhari phle hi RANI naam ki wyf he
Hus-Maine bataya to tha k me tume RANI ki tarah rakhunga..

Husband- Ek writer ne likha hai ki
"Pati ko bhi ghar ke mamlo mein bolne ka haq hona chaahiye..."

Wife-Woh bechaara bhi dekho likh hi paya, Bol Nahi Saka.!

Ek pareshan Pati apni patni se kehta hey....

Apni Marji Se Jeene
Nahi Deti Hai....

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Aur
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Karwa Chouth Vrat Rakh Ke Marne Bhi Nahi Deti Hai...

Ek Admi Ka Hont Jala Huwa Tha.
Kisi Ne Poocha Kese Jala?
Admi Bola.
Wife Ko Chorne Station Gaya Tha.
Khushi K Mare Train K Enjine Ko Choom Liya Tha...