Santa Banta Wishes and Status Messages

Film Director Santa: U have to jump to a swimming pool-from 100 ft.
Actor: But I don't know swimming sir.
Santa: Don't worry there is no water.

Santa weeping. Friend asked ki hoya?

Santa: bapu mer gaya.

After 5 mints santa again crying.

Friend asked: hun ki hoya?

Santa said: meri behan da baapu v mer gia

Santa: tere result da ki banya?

Pappu: madam kendi si class vich 1 saal hor lagana hai.

Santa: phir theek hai, saal chahe 2,3 hor lag jayn, bas fail na hona.

Bus Accident
Man Crying: Mera hath kat gaya.
Bahut dard ho raha hai.
Santa: Abey chup baith.
Wo dekh uska gala kat gaya,
Fir bhi chup-chaap pada hai..!!

Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Santa: Biwi Se
Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi
Santa: Maa-Baap to agla janam lete hi mil jyenge
biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!!

Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye!
time ka pata hi nahi laga?

Santa ne cafe mein ek ladki se I Love you kaha
Ladki ne chanta mara aur boli:
Kya bola?
To Santa rote hue bola:
Jab suna nahi tune to chanta kyu mara?

Santa: Agar nariyal ke ped pe chad jaun to..
engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jayegi
Banta: Pir hath chod dena,
to medical college ki bhi dikh jayegi.

Santa: Tere result da ki banya?
Pappu: Miss kendi aey es class wich ik saal hor laggay ga?
Santa: Saal pavain 2,3 lag jawan par fail na hovin mera puttar.

Santa- Cycle ka break hath me lekar nach kar raha tha.
Banta- ye kya kar rahe ho?
Santa - Oye! dikhta nahi, break dance kar raha hoon.

Santa : yaar tu car d speed kyu vadhaa ti ? Banta : oye break fail ho gi hai, accident hon to pehla pehla ghar pahuch jayie....!

Santa: Dr. saab, I'm suffering from loose motion.
Doc: Kinni ku patli aundi hai?
Santa: Dr. saab, samaj lao ke tusi us naal Grare kar sakde ho !

santa praying bhagwaan plz punjab nu america di raajdhaani bna deo ...
banta- kyu yaar ,
santa- yaar main paper vich likh aaya

SANTA BUIDLING TO THALLE DIG PAYA PAR BACH GAYA,EK JANANI NE KEHA PUT WAHEGURU TERE MAGAR C.

SANTA BOLIYA:- MAIN V SOCH REHA C KE MAINU DHAKKA KINE DITA

brothers santa n banta were in d same class.
teacher: y u wrote ur father`s name diff?
boys: madam tusi fir kehna c nakal maari...

Banta:- Sadi Jaan te bani hai, tera haasa ho gya.
Santa:- Sada Vyah v nahi hoya te Tere Kaka ho gya.

Santa:- Bhaaji, tusi banglabada vadhiya banaya hai, par bathroom me bath tub bahut chota hai.
Banta:- Oye, tu fir se FLUSH me naha aya.

Santa: Kal Raat Nu Film Vich Ik Chudail Kade
Mere Agge Kade Mere Piche Ghummi Ja Rai Si,
Banta: Kehri Film Si…?
Santa: Mere Viah Di Movie.

History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas

Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously...
Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.

Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.

Ek din Santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala – I love you.
Premika(Gusse se) : Jara pyar se nahi keh sakte?
Santa : I love you Didi!!!!

santa-tu office me to sher bana ghumta h..
ghar pe tujhe kya ho jata h..?

banta- hota to sher he hoon, bas upar DURGA sawar ho jati hai...