Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 26

POLICE:ye car parking me cycle q park ki?
SANTA:jab irado me ho dugni chamak to kapdo me q nahi?
POLICE:kya?
SANTA:sirf do pahiyo ka fark he uncle Aa jayege!

DO AALSI So Rahe The,
Tabhi Ek Chor Unka Kambal Le Bhaga.
1 AALSI CHOR..CHOR..!DUSRA AALSI:
CHUP CHAP Soja,Jab Takiya Lene Aayega Tab Pakad lenge

Interviewer: wat d difference in mobile & ladline?




santa: ladine ka no hum ungli se dail karte hai mobile ka anguthe se.

Pati bola patni se-Raja Dashrath ki 3 Raniya thi..PATNI-to ?
PATI- mai 2 shadiya aur kar sakta hu.PATNI- Sonch lo, Dropadi ke 5 Pati the...?

Student: Machchhar Katne Se Pehle Kan Ke Pas Kyo Bhinbhinata Hai?
Teacher: Ache Yoddha Shatru Ko Suchna Dekar Hi Attack Karta Hai.

Santa ne shampoo kharida.
Santa- iske sath jo gift hai do.
Shopkeeper- iske sath gift nahi hai.
Santa- saale jhute, ispe likha hai "Dandruff Free"

Wife: Bacha Ab Chalne Laga He
husband: kab Se?
wife: 8 din Se
Husband: Are tum Ab bata Rahi Ho? wo Toh Kaafi Dur Nikal chuka Hoga

1 Bhikhari Ko Lottry lagi to Us ne Mandir banwaya
2nd- Tune Mandir Q banwaya?
Bhikhari- Iske Saamne ab Main Akele hi Bheek manguga..

Boy :tu dharti pe chahe jaha b rhegi tujhe teri khusbu se Pehchan Lunga

Girl: Ma KASAM mujhe phle se hi shak tha k tu sala"KUTTA" he

Pathan Driving
On The Wrong Side Of Road

&

He Became Upset

&

Said


==== SHIT====

aaj phir late ho gaya

saare log wapis jaa rahe hy:-)

LADKi waLe PANDiT ko: hume aisa LADKA chahiye jo kuch KHATA-PITA NA ho
PANDIT: jajman aisa LADKA to i.C.U. ya EMERGENCY WARD me miLega.

Aik pathan Hamesha Darwaza khol k Nahata tha.

Kisi ne pucha k ap aisa kyun kertay hain?

Pathan Bola: Mujhe Shak hai k mujhe Darwaze k nechay se koi daikhta hy

MASTER:Kanjoos bole to koun
STUDENT:Hm chahe jitne b 'sms' karen uska 'reply' jo na kare Vo
MASTER:Uski ek example do
STUDENT: Aapki ki Beti

Pathan Apni Biwi ko Clinic Le Gaya 0r Dr ko Bohat Maara..

Sab Ne Poochha kya Hua?

Pathan Bola:
Sala Bolta Hai Tmhari Biwi ka B.P Dekhna Hai.......

Pati-Malum Hota Hai Ki Daraaz Me Koi Khane Ki Chiz Hai..


Patni-Aap Ne








Bilkul Sahi Andaza Lagaya Is Me Mere Sendal Hai.

Pathan ko DRIP Lagi

Jb DRIP END hone lagi tow usne apne bhai se kaha jao SISTER ko bula k lao


Wo 3 din k baad Quetta se apni BEHN ko le aya....

Shortcut Propose

Boy : Kya Mai Aap ka Address Jaan Sakta Hoon...

Girl : Q ?




Boy : Aik Din Baraat Jo Leker Aani Hai ;-)

Teacher to pathan:
Batao ''Qaatil'' kise kehte hain?
Pathan: nahi pata
Teacher: farz karo tum apne baap ka qatal kar do tu tum kia kehlao gay?
Pathan: "YATEEM"

Master G Bachy Ka Lunch Kha Gaya.

Master G: Beta Ghar Ja Kar Mera Naam To Nahi Bataogy?

Bacha masumiyat sy: Master G Main Ammi Sy Kahun Ga

Ke Meri Roti Kutta Kha Gaya...

Pathan : Humne Aik Aisa Cheez Banaya Hai Jiske Zareye Deewar Ki Dusri Taraf Dekha Ja Sakta Hai,

Scientist: Wo Kya Cheez Banaya Hai Tumne?


Pathan: "SORAKH"

Girl: Kiya Tum Mere Aashiq Ho?

Boy: Haan Hon.

Girl: To Phir Mujhe 1000 ka Easyload Bhej Do.

Boy: Main Tumhara Aashiq Hon IDEA Waloon Ka Damaad Nahi. :-)

Light Theory by Pathan:
Moon is more imprtnt than Sun
Bcz it gives light at night when light is needed
While
Sun givs light at day when light is already present

1 ladka ne 1 ladki ko kamal ka phool diya to ladki ne jordar tamacha mari.

Ladka: kyun mari main to BJP ka parchar kar raha tha.
Ladki: aur main CONGRESS ka.

Santa- Pravachan sune ke bad ghar aya or biwi ko god mein utha lia.
Biwi: kya guruji ne romance karne ko kahan hai.
Santa:Nahi re pagli kaha apne dukh khud uthao.

Docter :
santa jee Aap k gurday fail hogaye hain !

Santa :
Ha Ha Ha
What a joke..

Mere gurday to kabhi school gaye hi nahi.

Fakeer:
1 Rupia dede Baba
Aadmi:
Sharam Nai Ati itnay hattay kattay khubsurat nojawan ho k bheek mangtay ho

fakeer:
Acha pher apni behan ka rishta day de.

Anath Ashram Manager to Bania:
Sethji, aap hamare anath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?
Bania: Mein anath ashram mein apne 4 bachhe bhej sakta hu

Ek Pagal Khat Likh Raha Tha,
Dr. ne Poucha Kis Ko Likh Rahe Ho ?
Pagal: Khud Ko.
Dr: Kya Likha Hai ?
Pagal: Mujhe Kya Pata !
Abhi Mujhe Mila Thorri Hai:-)

Santa ka Padosi Mar Gaya.
Wo Uske Ghar gaya or pucha- Body aa gai kya?
Tabhi Body lekar Ambulance aa gayi.

Santa-Lo Batao, kitni Lambi umar hai.

Teacher: "Mere papa aaj job par gaye hain" is ka future tense banao.

Student: Wo kal bhi jaenge kisi k baap mei himmat hai to rok k dkhae