Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 8

What will a mother tell her son who is sleeping on a footpath and refuses to get up?
Get up else Salman will come.

Modern Wedding Style wedding:
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Pujari
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Do You Both Agree To Change Your Facebook Status To MARRIED...?? Yes, We do..
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Pujari-Vivah sammpann...;)

Once Rakhi Sawant goes to LIC Office.
Rakhi: I want to get my body insured.
Officer: Sorry Madam, we do not insure Public Property.

A beggar found 100rs

He went 5 star hotel 4 diner

bill-3000

Mnger handed him 2 police

He gve 100 rs 2 police & freed

Its calld FINANCIAL MGT Widout MBA:)

Santa: Malika Sherawat is going to be married.
Banta: Who is the lucky man?
Santa: I am. She rejected me.

An elephant was standing in a queue..
suddenly he turns back n says something to the ant standing behind him.

Guess wat??


Dont push ya please....

Teacher to student: "if your father earn $100,000 and give half of it to your mother,
what would she have?

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STUDENT: A Heart Attack....

An engineering girl and guy went to a restaurant.

The guy wanted to ask for the menu,but he forgot wht it was called.So he acted damn cool and said....


"Waiter,SYLLABUS plz......."

Kid:Dad, Can We Go To McDonald?"

Dad:Only If You Can Spell Mcdonalds

Kid:Thought For A Mint, Turned Around
N Said

Can We Go To KFC Instead?"

Boy:Isnt the Principal a fool!
Girl:Do u Know who Im?
Boy:No
Girl:Im the Princis daughter
Boy:Do u know who Im?
Girl:No
Boy:Thank God!!!

Pappu-What is my Exam register no.?

Teacher: lts 07MKM4382.

Pappu-I paid Rs.2000 for Exam, Plz give me a
FANCY NUMBER.
Teacher:?@!%*!!

Smartest thing Santa ever did...
He changed all his passwords to 'incorrect'...
So whenever he forgets, the computer will remind him,"Your password is ... incorrect"

STORY OF LUV AT 2nd SIGHT..

A gal fell in love wid a boy at 2nd sight..


Bcoz at 1st sight







She didn't know that the boy had a BMW...hhehe.

Girl Wearing Very Short
Skirt

Boy Asks : Won't Ur Mom Say
Anything About Ur Dress . . ?

Girl : My Mom Will Be Very Angry

Coz

I M Wearing Her Dress .

A Boy after having great time with GF he saw a guy's photo in er bag, asked is he your Ex-BF ?? GF kissed him, said no it's me before surgery...

Teacher : Whoever Answers
My Next Question,
Can Go Home.
A Boy Throws His Bag Out Through
The Window.
Teacher: Who Threw The Bag ?
Boy : Me . . . I'm Going Home.

Son-Dad,if u see a 10Rs note & a 5Rs note on d floor,which wil u take?
Dad-The 10Rs of course!
Son-Thats so STUPID!
Why not take both?.....JSK

Father: When I was a young man, girls knew how to blush.

Son: What did you say to them?

A naughty answer given by a girl when asked..
How U feel when a boy gives U a flying kiss..?

Girl: I feel boys are lazy..

1st girl- my dog is smart! At 9 am he takes newpaper from newpaper boy nd brings it to me.
2nd girl- I know.
1st girl- how?
2nd girl- my dog told me!!

A student was sleeping in class.

His head was going down and down due to sleep.


Teacher comes and asks "What is this?".





Student:"GRAVITATIONAL FORCE"!

Baby was putting Dog's Tail into a Pipe.

Man- Hey mad,
Dogs Tail wil never become straight.

Baby - Hey idiot,
I am trying to bend the Pipe.

Have a funny day.

In an exam,
a student who was prep but left D pg blank
At bottom drew flowers and wrote-
"In D memory of my memory,which recently passed away!"

In an African Safari, a LION
suddenly bounced on Banta’s wife.
Wife- Shoot him! Shoot him!
Banta- Yes yes wait… I’m
changing d battery of
my camera..

traffic police:u r accused of driving the wrong way up a one-way street. men:but,sir,i was going one way only.

Boss: How long did you work for your last boss? Secretary: Until he married me.

A cute love story with happy ending:

One day somebody proposed u!

U said: "i am Not interested."

This way, somebody lived a happy life .

Awesome msg sent by a man to his wife:

"Hi Honey, I am just having my last beer and I will be home in 30 minutes. If I am not, please read this message again!"

Santa kissed his girl friend in the park.

Girl: Plz ye sb shadi se pehle?

Santa: Don?t worry darling, I'm already married

A policeman saw a little boy crying.

He approached him & asked: What's the matter boy?
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Boy-Matter is anything that occupies space & has mass...J.S.K