Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 9

Anil Ambani was sufferring from loose-motions.
He went to a doctor.
Dr asked him:Whats your problem?
Ambani:Unlimited free out going with variety of ring tones..............

Husband Comes Home Early And Sees Wife With Another Guy.

Wife: Why Are You Early?
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Husband: Who Is He?
...
Wife: Don't Try To Change The Topic :

Teacher : what is the difference between himami and sunami?

Banta : Himami is face wash and sunami is desh wash....

Producer : Movie Ka Naam Sunte Hi Sab
Bache Dar Jaye Aisa Kuch Title Bataao..

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Director:
"Morning Exam Evening Result"

KID : Y some of ur hair r white DAD?

Dad: Everytime u make me unhappy, 1 of my hair turns white.

KID: Now I understand y grandpa's hair r ALL white..!!

boy to girl: I love not only u
gir: kya....
boy: I also love w, x, y,z

Total Disaster:-)

Two friends were walking but suddenly they stopped..

1St Freind: Ooh my god!! my girl friend and my wife are coming together..

Second Friend: Damn!!! Mine tooo it :-))

in computer exam...
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Examiner:"What is Microsoft Excel?"
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Santa:"It is a new brand of Surf Excel to clean the computer!"

Mom To Her 7 Year Old Kid.

Lets practice maths
Ok?
Lets start with addition.

Example:
Your aunt gave you 2 oranges & 2 bananas.
Whats your answer?

Thannk You Auntie!

Techr:Tell Me The Perfect Example for Newtons 3rd Law?

GOLU: Whenever I open My Book
My Eyes Close Automatically

Bole To
Action ka Reaction

I Ws In A Taxi Wen The Taxi Driver Said,
"I Luv Dis Job !!
I'm My Own Boss,
Nd Nobody Tells Me Wat 2 Do"

Den I Replid:Aage Se Left Lena :-

Santa's Father brought a NEW SIM CARD..

Santa saved that Number in his Mobile Phone as,
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"New Father

Indian Boy:- Mere 3 Bhai Aur 3 Behen Hai, Tere Kitne Hai?
American Boy:-Mere Bhai Behen Nahi, Par Pehli Mummy Se 4 Papa Aur Pehle Papa Se 5 Mummy Hai...

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?

Student: Obviously it is the past tense!

Santa runs in 2 Banta's house and shouts 2 him....
SOMEONE HAS STOLEN UR CAR!"

BANTA SAYS "DID U C WHO DID IT?"

SANTA SAYS "NO BUT I NOTED THE REGISTRATION NUMBER!!!

Santa was a Sincere Traffic Police Man but was Suspended from his Job

Why?

he Stop the ambulance and Fined for Over Speed.

Pappu: Papa, wrong causes tension & tension causes disease. Is it true?
Santa: Yes.
Pappu: That is d reason why I hav stopped worrying abt my studies

Santa: Ye TV kitne Ka h?
Salesman: 1lakh Rs.
Santa: Y anythin Special?
Sal: Light chali gyi to Automatic off ho Jayega..
Santa: Oh,pack it..

2 old ladies sitting in church 1 leans over and whispers to the other "my butt is going to sleep" the other replies "I know I have heard it snore 3 times"

gf: hi
bf: what ?
gf; I cheated
bf : so what do u think i love u ? i have been cheating u frm past 2 yrs .

gf: cried and said noooo .. i was talking about exams.

Boss hangs a notice on his office door, "I am D boss, don't forget"
When he returns from lunch sum1 had written "Ur wife called up she wants her notice board back!:-)

-Father: Would you like me to help you revise for your test?
-Son: No thanks, I'd rather fail by myself.

Teacher- Draw diagram of bacteria
Papu-here it is sir,Teacher-where?
I cant c it
Papu-sir u cannot c bacteria Widout a microscope

Santa: My wife and I never argue.
Banta: Not even when she is right?
Santa: I don`t know. That has never happened with me.

A cat was Very Sad Bcoz He did not Have any Girl Friends

One day He saw a beautiful Lady cat

He went and said 2 her

"MEOW"

Banta: What is the difference between a lady in church and a girl in the bath tub?
Santa: The lady`s heart is full of hope and the girl`s body is full of soap.

One Santa plays Holi every Sunday. Man: why you play Holi on every Sunday? Santa: because Sunday is Holi-day..

In a class room.
Girl- Who get more angry boys or girls?
Boy- Girls only.
Girl- How?
Boy- If I kiss u, u'll get angry, but when u kiss me I'll never get angry..

A BANIA cals reporter 2 print death of his GrandPa.
Clerk: 25rs/word
BANIA: Dada Dead
Clerk: Sorry, Min 5 words
BANIA: Dada dead wheelchair 4 sale

miser:i have to buy a new comb immidiatley
friend:why did u lose yours.
miser:no.a tooth of the comb broke.
friend : thats no problem.
miser:it is. as it was the last tooth.