Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 11

Ek aadmi ghabraya hua police station pr aaya aur bola

Mujhe girftaar kr lijye main ne apni bivi k ser pr danda mara hai.

Inspctor: Kya woh mar gayi?

Aadmi: Nahi wo danda lye mere peche aa rahi hai. :-)

Difference between Husband & gadha.

Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!

Husband to Wife: Tum meri zindagi ho aur

Wife-Aur Kya?
Tell me Aur Kya?
Wife shouted-Tell me aur kya?

Husband-Aur laanat H Aisi Zindagi Par.

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to!!

Arz Kiya Hai.

Soch Samjah k na ki Jisne Shadi

Usne Jivan Bigad Liya.

Aur Chaturai se ki jisne Shadi

Usne B Kya Ukhad Lia

Things In.
BoysRoom Bfr Marriage;.
Deo.
Perfume.
Loveletter.
Gift.
cards.
Gogle.
Condom.
After Marriage.
Balm.
Painkiller.
LoanPaper

Women r confusing... Before marriage they expect a man, After marriage they suspect a man, After he dies they respect the man !!!

Tip of the Day. Always keep ur hubby's pic in mobile,U know y? Wenever u face any problem just see that pic & say If I can handle dis I can do anything.

"if Ur father iz Not Rich
Dats Ur Luck
But
If Ur Fathr-in-Law iz Not Rich dats Ur StupiditY"



[HOPEFUL BACHELORZ ASSOCIATION]

Q:"nari"ka matlab kya hai?
Ans:nari ka matlab hai 'shakti'

Q:to fir purush ka matlab kya hai?

A:'sehan shakti'

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married

Husband:
ALLAH ne tumhein 2 aakhen di hain
chaawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti?
WIFE: ALLAH ne tumhe 32 daant diye hai
2-4 patthar nhi chaba sakte?

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.

Wife:Suna he k jannat me husband
k sath Wife ko nahi rehne dete
HUSBAND! sahi suna he,
Wife: aisa kion?
Husband: Arey pagli isi liye to
usey jannat kehte hain

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married

Jab kisi Pe Bura waqt Aata hai to Uske Dost Aur Parivaar Uske Peechhe khade hote hai.Yakeen na ho to kisi ki Bhi Shaadi ka Photo Dekh Lo.

Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won't even lay down his newspaper.

Husband wife mein larai hoi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya,

Husb: Raat ko phone pay,”Khanay mein kia hai”

Wife: Zeher.

Husb: Mai dair se aonga, tum kha kar so jana

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it

Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi,
Mein bolta tha wo sunti thi,

Phir woh meri mangetr bani,
Woh bolti thi mein sunta tha

Jab se woh meri BIWI bani,
Hum dono bolte hain
or
muhalla sutna hai

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you

In art gallery a couple see picture of a girl covered only by leaf.Husband keeps watching & watching.Wife Ab chaloge yaa HAWA aane ka intezar karte rahoge.

Man 1 : I Got Married Bcoz I Was Tired Of Cooking, Cleaning Home n Washing Clothes

Man 2: Amazing, I Got Divorce For The Same Reason...

Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.

Banta owned a factory. He issued orders that only married men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?
Banta reply: Because married men are more obedient.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?

AIRPORT Pe-
Patni: Dekho,Wo Couple KISS Karte Hue Kitna Khush Dikhai De Rahe Hai.
Pati:Wo Usse DROP Karne Aaya Hai, RECEIVE Karne Nahi..

Why don’t dogs marry?
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Bcoz…Woh to pehle hi kutte ki zindagi jee rahe hote hain

Ek raat husband ny wife se pani manga or so gaya

Bivi sari raat khari rahi subha hui

Husband: tum sari raat yaha khari rahi bolo kya chahye

Wife: Gussy se, Talaq ;-)

In a court: So, Witness, what did you do when you saw this woman whacking her husband's head with this iron? I called my fiance and said I had changed my mind about marrying her.