Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 10

Harassed Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.

Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal.

Husband: I know all that.

Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?

Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

Wife: (standing in front of mirror) I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?

Funny Husband: Your eyesight is still excellent !

A husband was returning home after cremating his wife.

He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky.

Husband thinks: She must have reached there.

Bartender: I Think U Had Enuf Sir !
Drunk: I Just Lost My Wife, friend !
Bartender: Well, It Must Be Hard Losing A Wife
Drunk: It Waz Almost Impossible ....

sita ke vanvas mein bahut badi seekh hain,
ghar main teen-teen saas ho to jungle hi thik hain

Wife:
Darling ! kuch saal Pehle figure Coke Bott;le Jesa Tha...
Husband Jal Kar:
Figure tu aaj Bhi Coke Jaisa he hy,.. Pehlay 12 Wali Bottle thi ab 60 wali

A Man's Silence can break a Woman's heart into thousand pieces while A Woman's Silence can give a man a thousand moments of peace...

Q: What is the next thing one should do after winning an argument with the wife ?
A: Apologise !!!

A man is the head of the family and the wife is the neck. The neck turns the head exactly the way it wants.

Wife runs home saying, Pack your bag honey, I won 10 crores in lottery
Husband: Should I pack for beach or hills?
Wife: Who cares?


Just pack n get lost.

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either ur money or life... The wives want both!

Only Historian can become
Great Husband because as thing(wife) become older his interest rises.

Jab kisika bura waqt aata hai to uske sare pariwar wale aur sare dost usk sath khade ho jate hai..
Yakeen na aaye to kisi ke bhi shadi ke photos dekh lo...

LOVE AND HONOUR YOUR PATNER,
HELP AND GIVE SERVICE.
BUT DO NOT BAHAVE LIKE A SLAVE.

Q. What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE ?

A. In both cases you feel 'aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta'.

Q. Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai.

A. Man : Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.

Santa: Will U marry , after I die.
Wife : No I will live with my sister.

Wife : Will U marry , after I die.
Santa: No I will also live with ur sister.

Wife to her friend: My hubby bought me a Mood ring the other day. When I'm in a gud mood, it turns Green & when Im in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead!

Biwi(gusse me)-Tumhare dimag me to sirf gobar hi bhara hai..

Hasband(pyar se)- To fir itani der se kha kyon rahi ho...thanks

Welcome to Mobile Marriage bureau-
Rishte k iye 1 dabaye,
Mangni k liye 2 dabaye
Shaadi k liye 3 dabaye
Dusri shaadi k liye ....
Pehli wali ka gala dabaye.

Wife;Sunye jb Aap ne pehli Baar Mera Ghunghat uthaya tha to kaisa Mehsus kiya tha?

Husband;
Khuda ki kasam, Main Mar h jata Agar
AAYAT-UL-KURSI yaad Naa hoti

Always listen to your WIFE. She gives you sound advice.... 99% Sound and 1% advice.

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'


Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'


Wife: 'Yes or no.'

*Love b4 Marriage*
Janu…tum nahe to mei nahe,
mei nahe to tum nahe…

*Love after Marriage*
“baghairta”…Aj tu nahe ya me nahe

Position of a husband is like split A.C..No matter how loud it is outside, but inside the room it is designed to remain silent !

If some one would like to have
a successful life after marriage
so he should implement this formula.
Never break 4 things in life.
1. Promise
2. trust
3. heart
4. relation

It never sounds when it breaks
but pains a lot.

So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,
but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

- Some girls get married for financial security; others get divorced for the same reason.

Intresting Fact but true....
Only Twenty Percent of man have Brains,
Rest of them have....






WIFE.....

NAMSTE

Grl Friend v/s Wife
gf..beauty
wf..duty
gf..pension
wf..tension
gf..yummy
wf..vehmi
gf..cool
wf..fool
gf..tooti fruity
wf..kismat footi
gf..fresh cake
wf..Earthquake.