Naughty Wishes and Status Messages - Page 12

A lady from 2nd floor asking a bananawala: Kaise diye?
Bananawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara.
Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja.

Which part of the body is most sensitive while watching adult movies? Guess?
Ha ha, U R wrong. It''s ur ears to make sure ki koi aa to nahin raha.

Sex is evil
Evil is sin
Sin is forgiven
So let''s begin.

Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day. She''ll give u gud news on Mothers` day n u''ll hv a child on children`s day. Don''t try this on everybody. U''ll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day)

Jab tumahara rape hua to tumne kya mehsoos kiya?
Girl: Ladoo agar zabardasti khilaya jaye to bhi lagta to meetha he hai.

A policeman arrested a prostitute in the Hospital area & asked for her profession.
Prostitute: I''m a social engineer.
Policeman: What do u do?
Prostitute: I build & destroy erections

Singboard outside a prostitute''s house: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...

Heaven is when u have both girls and bottles of beer. Hell is when u discover that the bottles have holes and the girls don''t.

What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper & a woman?
When they are wet, they do not squeak any more!

Don''t always take things in their literal sense. Like- When Dr says take off ur clothes. When dentist says open wide. When milkman says u want in the front or in the back. When interior dec say once it is in u''ll luv it. When banker says if u take it out soon u''ll lose the interest. When the phone guy says wud u like it on table or against the wall!

Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It''s amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

An in-depth study has shown that the bird-flu virus hits small cocks first. I thought i''d warn u immediately.

Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is restricted!

Hey dude Congrats!!! Heard you got selected as the first male model for Whisper Ad... ''Why Should Girls have all the Fun''

A rooster & cat were goin over a bridge, cat slips n falls in river. Rooster can''t stop laughing.
Moral: Wherever there''s a wet pussy there''s a happy cock

The makers of Viagra have announced that they have developed a pill to increase wetness in females... The pill will be called Niagra!

Young man asks an older man: Sir, what is retrenchment?
Older man: Retrenchment is when u r replaced by a computer at work and a vibrator at home.

Condom to whisper: Bloody every month u stop my business for one week.
Whisper: If u make a mistake I lose my business for 9 months.

Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn''t laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.

A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don''t know how many have handled it but u still want to have it.

Wives r incoming calls,
Lovers r outgoing calls,
Aunties r Toll-free calls,
Callgirls r Roaming calls,
Neighbour girls r Missed Calls.

Medical News: Patients do well when transfused chicken blood instead of human blood?
Men get more cocky and women lay better.

Teacher: Hamein machcharon ko paida hone se rokna chahiye.
Student: Wo to ho hi nahin sakta.
Teacher: Kyon?
Student: Kyonki itna chota condom ban hi nahi sakta.

If u want to start business, start a Condom company named DIPPER. It''ll get free publicity on Indian trucks... Use Dipper at Night

A girl for first the time was handling a boy''s cock. After some time some drops came out, she asked what''s that?
The boy said: Yeh khushi ke aansoo hain.

The definition of an optimist is a woman who loads up the CD changer before making love.

Taxi driver: Mam, u r the 3rd pregnant lady whom I''m dropping to Airport today.
Lady: But I''m not pregnant.
Driver: But we hvn''t reached airport yet.

U should be thankful to the Govt for the condition of Indian roads, otherwise u wud have missed the beautiful view of Bouncing boobies on scooties!

Shoe laces and smart men have one thing in common... They keep in touch with severel holes simultaneously.

Latest product in the market: George Bush condoms.
Ideal for fuckers who don''t know when to pull out.