Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 4

Wife says to husband: "Whisper dirty things into my ear".
Husband leans in and whispers: "Dishes, Laundry, living room"

Husband was throwing knives on wife's photo .all were missing d target ...suddenly he recvd a call from her ..hi wat r u doing ?
he honestly rply MISSING U...

Man Asks Wife- What Would You
Do If I Won The Lottery ?

Wife Says- I'd Take Half n Leave
You

Husband- Perfect ! I've Won
$10 , Here's $5
Now Get Lost ...

Patni Aapne Pati Se- Dekh Lena Tumhe Nark Mein Bhi Jagah Nahi Milegi..

Pati- Achcha Hai, Mai Bhi Har Jagah Tumhare Sath Nahi Jaana Chahta.

Wife2 husband:tu jahan-jahan chalega mera saya saath hoga..
mera saya.. mera saya..
Husband: Mujhe pehle se hi sak tha ki tu bhutni hai

Santa;begum k liye chapal lene Gya
Dukandar-Santa G Size to batao?

Santa-Yaar wo to Mai bhool gaya Hu

aisa karo meri KAMAR pe nishan dekh lo.

A woman came to police:
- Please, help. My husband is lost. Here is his photo and special peculiarities... When you find him, tell him that my mother decided not to come!
...

Wo Kya Cheeze He Jo wife Apnay hsbnd Ko Sari Umar Nahi Deti?

Socho ?

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Socho ??

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Socho



CHAIN KI SAANS

pharmacist to customer:

to buy anti-depression pills sir,
you need a proper prescription.
simply showing a picture of your wife is not enough.

Patni-Tumne Apni Zindagi Me Kiya Hi Kya HE
Pati-Maine Apna Jivan Khud Banaya He
Patni-Lo,aur Mai Ab Tak Ishwar Ko Dosh De rahi thi

There r many brave people who alwayas want 2 be adventurous.

Few choose the armed forces & fight for the nation,others get married & fight for their survival..

Wyf-Tumne mujhe shadi se phle Q nahi bataya k tumhari phle hi RANI naam ki wyf he
Hus-Maine bataya to tha k me tume RANI ki tarah rakhunga..

Full form of SHADI
S-Shanti Bhang
H-Himmat Khatam
A-Azadi Samapt
D-Dimag Kharab
I-Imtihan Chalu

Sher ki shadi thi, barat me sab sheron ke bech ek kutta nach raha tha, usse pucha app yahan kaise? To kuta bola shadi se pehle hum bhi sher thee.

Pati:Ab Jhagda Band Bhi Karo
Mai Shanti Ke Sath Rehna Chahta Hu

Patni: Ha, Jaao
Mai Bhi Shyam Ke Sath Rehna Chahti hu..

son-shaddi mai dulhe ko gadhe pe kuyn nahi betathe?
father-taki log 2 gadhe dekh dar na jaye

A fact which all ageers..
Kya Apko Pata He Swatantrata Divas Kab Aata He?
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Jab Gharwali Maayke jati hai.

Log kehte he hoshiyar mard ache Pati sabit hote he

Mai Unse Puchna Chahta Hu

Ki

Hoshiyar mard bhla shadi shuda hi kab hote Hai

man found thousands of ways to cheat GOD...but God punished him by simply
making him a husband

Son- Papa sab log shaadi karke pareshan hi hote hain to shaadi kyon karte hain.
Papa- Beta akal badam khane se nahi thokar khane se aati hai.

Wife:

India jao to saarhee bhejna,

Dubai jao to jewelry,

France jao to perfume!!


Husband ne jal ke kaha,

Or dozakh jaon to kia bhejon?


Wife:

APNI VIDEO

Purani Kahawat he ki sote samay tension ko
sath leke nahi sona chahiye Phir bhi log Pata
Nahi kyo Biwi ko sath leke sote ha..

1st Friend : My wife converted me to religion.

2nd Friend : Really?

1st Friend : Yes. Until I married her I didnt believe in hell.

what is the difference
Between a new husband & a new dog?"After a year the dog is still
excited to see u."

Patni: Agar Mujhe Kuchh Ho Gaya 2 Kya Aap Turant Dusri Shaadi Kar Lenge?
Pati: Kam Se Km 2-3 Mahine 2 Rukna Padega, Warna Padosi Ka Kahenge?

Pati patni mandir main!
Pati-tumne kya manga?
Patni-Ki aap aur main saat janam saath rahe.
Patni-Aur aapne.
Pati-Ye mera saatwa janam ho

Husband- Ek writer ne likha hai ki
"Pati ko bhi ghar ke mamlo mein bolne ka haq hona chaahiye..."

Wife-Woh bechaara bhi dekho likh hi paya, Bol Nahi Saka.!

Raju-tum mere sath naukar ki tarah behave karna
chodho,Warna?
Wife-warna kya?
Raju-mein do char ghar aur pakad lunga

Marriage tip :

When you want to get your Wife's Attention :
"just look Comfortable
and Happy...!"

Advocate:Talak Karvane K Rs10,000 Lagenge.
Husband:Pagal Ho Kya?Pandit Ne Rs 101 Me Shadi Karvai Thi.
Advocat:Dekh Liya Na Saste Ka Natija