Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 14

Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.

They say when a man holds a woman''s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.

Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.

Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.

Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno.

A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend''s girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she''s really attractive.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

Many a wife thinks her husband is the world''s greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.

Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.

A husband is what''s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife.

Marriage is a rest period between romances.

Man and wife make one fool.

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

May you grow so rich your widow''s second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid.

Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven''t been able to find anybody who''ll take what I have to give.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it''s not so hot.

Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.