Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 7

Angry Husband sends SMS to Father-in-law : Your Product not matching my requirements.


Smart Father-in-Law : "Warranty Expired..Manufacture not Responsible."

They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it`s true. As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny
that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds!’ I gifted her
a weighing scale

A couple had a fight one night
Going to bed Husband says:
Good night mother of my 3 kids.
Wife Replied: Good night father of none.

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest
and please so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.!!

Husbnd: Kya tumne mujhe KUTTA kaha?
No answer
Husbnd again asks, No answer
Then again he asks,
Wife: Nahi kaha. Plz AB bhoka na bandh karo

Q-Insan Apni Bewqufi Par Kab Khush Hota Hai..?

Socho..

Socho..

Apni Shadi Ke Din Yaar

A Tiger was giving wedding party to his frnds..
A Cat came there and danced.
Tiger asked who r u ?
Cat said: I was also a Tiger before my marriage.......

Wife: Last night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewelry and clothes! Husband: yeah, and I saw your dad paying the bill! Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you make with them. Wall or Bridge? Remember you are the architect of your life.

Why do Indian women want same husband in next life too??
.
.
Bcoz
.
.
Efforts taken by her to change him in this life will not b wasted!! ;-)

Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?

If u find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.

Teacher: Y ru late?
Student: Mom & Dad wer fighting
Teacher: Dey wer fighting so ur late?
Student: One Shoe was wid Dad & d othr was wid Mom

Santa- yar tere our bhabhi ki jodi to Ram-Sita ki jodi hai.
Banta- kahan yar, na to yeh dharti me samati hai our, na he ise koi utha k le jata he....

Patni- Jante ho maine 20 somwar ke upwas kiye tab jakar tumhein paya hai. Pati- Ye sab nahi karti to kya hota. Patni- Tumse bhi koi gaya guzara milta

Marriage is like a public toilet

Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come out..

How BEDROOM Smells Aftr MARRIAGE

1st 3MONTHS-Perfumes,
Flowers,

After 1-3YEARS-Baby Powdr,
Cream,
Lotions,

After 10-13
YEARS-Vicks,Zandu Balm..

A Diplomatic Husband 2 Wife:
"Hw do U expect Me 2Remembr
Ur Birthday Wn U Nvr Look any Older"

Husband drinking and said: Tum kon ho ?
Biwi: Pagal ho gaye ho kiya?
apni Biwi ko bhee bhoul gaye Kiya?
HUSBAND: Nasha har ‘gham’ bhula deta hay.

Q: Why doesn`t the India law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Men want three qualities in wives: Economist in the kitchen, artist at home and devil in the bed. But they get an artist in kitchen, a devil at home and an economist in Bed.

1 admi doston ki mehfil se raat late ghar gaya dosto ne pucha k wife ne kuch kaha to nahi admi bola nahi kuch khas nahi, bus ye 2 dant to mai wesay bhi niklwane wala tha

Banta: I want to marry a smart woman, a good woman, a woman who will make me happy!
Santa: Make up your mind.

Santa: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
Banta: Premature death.

It's million dollar saying that jo hase unke ghar base
But the million dollar Question is Ghar basane ke bad kitne Hase.

Preeto: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
Jeeto: A rumor

BV-Maine "GADHO" Par Research Ki He
Wo Apni "GADHI" k siwa kisi or "GADHI" ko Dekhta Tak Nai

Pati-IsiLiye To Use "GADHA" Kehte Hai

Santa, seeing his wife`s nude picture hanging at an art Gallery; `Did u really pose for that?` Jeeto: `R u mad? Of course not. He painted it from his sharp memory!`

Wife-agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?

Husband-main TV aur newspaper
main ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho.....
KHUSH Raho.

Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age
kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife:Kaun si movie thi?
Husband:Apni shadi ki

On The First Wedding Night.
Husband: Look Darling Before Marrige I Had Affair With 20 Girls”
Wife Replied: “Janu Kundli Milli Hai To Gunn To Millenge Hi Na