People like him don''t just grow on trees - they swing from them
Are you typing with your forehead, again?
When he dies, they''ll bury him face down, so that he can see where he''s going.
He who laughs last has no sense of humor.
He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.
Cigarette, A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.
He''ll take off his jacket and put it on the seat next to him on the train, just to stop a pregnant lady from sitting down.
He folds his newspaper on the bus so that the guy sitting across from him has to read the news upside down.
You couldn''t warn to him even if you were both cremated together.
A rose by any other name still has thorns.
We have strange and wonderful relationship. You''re strange and I''m wonderful.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and dodging the issue.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
Gravity doesn''t exist. Earth sucks.
Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
He would throw a drowning man both ends of the rope just to see the look on his face.
Never deprive someone of hope - it may be all they have.
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it''s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
There you go again, flushing the sweet milk of human kindness through the U-bend of cynicism.
Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is up to.
He has no equal. Everyone else is better.
You are proof that God has a sense of humor.
You''re about as subtle as a gynecologist wearing a gas mask and a hair net.
He dips Sparrows in Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.
You''re about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.
His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.
Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.
A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
May the horses break their harnesses trying to pull my dick out of your mother!
Showing 541 - 570 of 679