Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 16

It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

Grooms, once you marry, please remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always try to get the last two words in: "Yes dear"

To the 2 secrets of a long lasting and happy marriage
...Here''s to good sense of humor and a short memory!

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.

I haven''t spoken to my wife in years. I didn''t want to interrupt her.

May the best of your past be the worst of your future

Isn''t it quite funny how History repeats itself?
[Bride''s Age] years ago your Mother and Father were putting you to bed with a dummy...and now it''s happening all over again

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted

I''ve known many,
Liked not a few,
Loved only one,
I toast to you

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.

Married Life Joke

Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn''t know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

Married life has many Ups and Downs...May most of yours be between the sheets!

Marriage has no guarantees. If that''s what you''re looking for, go live with a car battery.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Here''s to you, my beautiful bride.

It''s true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

Here''s to my bride: she knows everything about me, yet loves me just the same.

To the NewlyWeds: May ''for better or worse'' be far better than worse.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn''t.

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

You know, the trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to actually prove it.

Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don''t know son, I''m still paying for it.