One Liners Wishes and Status Messages - Page 27

I was arrested for walking in someone else''s sleep

What''s the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much.

Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who''s smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They''ve already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?

What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I''d put U and I together.

!!!
One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

If you have picture where you look ugly, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.

I may not be Pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be Coca Cola, only the real thing. I may not be Nido, the world''s number 1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.

Why the heck are you wasting your time reading this?

How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.

Why can''t you accept that some days you''re the pigeon, and some days you''re the statue.

I''m afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don''t know what will happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

Her IQ goes up.
hy''d the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? About 45 pounds!!

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

How do you save a man from drowning?
Take ur foot of his head.

Sorry, I am having an out of money experience.

I''m not sure what life could bring you. I''m not sure if dreams do come true. I''m not sure what love can do. But I''m sure about one thing. Cute tayo.

I''m so sorry for not telling you this before. You ought to know how smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!... I didn''t know I''ve influenced you that much!

A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don''t serve food here".

Hello, this is Death. Please answer when you''re ready.

Love me or leave me. Hey, where is everybody going ???

Confucious say Put rooster in freezer to get a stiff cock.

When somebody who''s deeply in love with you tells you that you''re cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That''s true, believe me, I swear. Cause love is blind!

Looks may capture the eyes but it''s the personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both.

I live a very difficult life. I''m always hurt! Whenever people call me cute, good looking, smart and lovable, I''m always hurt! Totoo pala, the truth hurts!

"What do use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best."

When she talks about the town, she calls it news. When the town talks about her, she calls it ''tsismis''.