Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 5

reporter:what is the secret behind ur record making run time?
athlete :no secret. i wanted to hurry towards toilet to unload .....

Two deaf men are discussing
their wives using sign language.
1st: What to you do when
your wife start complaining.
2nd: just stop listening
1st: How…?
2nd: I turn off the lights

teacher; what is life and live ???
.
.student(b)-
.thinking
.
.um.. . . .
.
.
.ummmm. . .
.
.then. .he gaved ans;
life- 'girl' and live-'current or
electricity''...

Girl : I Want To Say Something
To U..!!
.
Boy : What.?!
.
Girl : Its 3 Words & 8
Letters..!!
.
Boy : I Knw. Its I Love You..
But I Dont..!!
.
Girl : No.
.
Boy : Then What..?
.
.
.
.
Girl : Go To Hell !!

Teacher-- What is the meaning of Green dot on the packet of Parle-G ???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

B0y-- mam, it means Parle-G is now online...

Mom: You're All Dressed Up,
Where Are You Going?

Daughter: To The Bathroom,
I Need A New Facebook Picture

Judge: You are accused of driving above speed limits. What will you take, 3000 bucks or 3 days in jail?
Santa: I will take the money rather.

RAJNI was PutinG his DoGs Tail in2 a Pipe
Santa-oYe Pagal, DoG's Tail wiLL nEvEr becomE StraiGht.

Rajni-Yenna Rascala, its MY dog, I'm just bendinG the Pipe.

A man to his friend

My wife died yesterday

I am trying to cry,But tears r nt coming out..

Wh to do?

.

Friend- No problem, just imagine she is back....

A Girl in a book shop :

Do u have the book named ''Girls r very Intelligent''?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
Salesman: The comedy section is on the Left side....

Coolest mom of the millenium Girl: mom,i want some fresh air..can i go for a walk..? Mom: yes,but tell your "fresh air" to drop you home by 9 Pm...

Kolaveri Di is to be banned becz of the Lyrics
'White skin girl,girl..Girl heart black!'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kapil Sibal says-'This is in-reference to
Sonia Gandhi....

Teacher (Giving instructive) - Start Computer
.
Santa- I did
.
Teacher- Now open my computer
.
.
Santa- Miss, where is your computer?...

Santa opened a Fb A/C, posted
pics, age, address
Finaly
he was confused abt what he can
write on 'Wall'
Aftr deep thinkn he rote
"Yaha Peshaab Karna Mana Hai

Teacher-giv an example of amphibian?
Pappu-a frog.
Teacher-good. giv another example?
Pappu-another frog!

Student:Y Gandhi has no hair on his head?

Teacher:Bcoz he talks only truth.

Student:Now i understand y girls hv long hair.

Boy-Can I Have a HUG?
Girl-NO

Boy-Did u Hear Wht I Said?
Gal-yes

Boy-Wat Did I Say?
Girl-Can I Have A HUG.

Boy-Yes-Yes always...

Amithab: if you tell the correct answer of 15th question; you will become a crorepati.
Santa: oh! Then you ask the 15th question directly now.

Santa in Chinese Restaurant

Waiter-Sir, I hav Stewed Liver,
Boiled Tongue & Frog's Legs
.
.
Santa-Don't tell me ur problems,
give me the Menu....

Wife drinking WHISKEY n asked "Tum kaun ho?"

Hsband-"Pagal ho gayi ho kya?
Apne husband ko bhool gayi?

Wife:-Nasha hr gum bhula deta h "Bhaisaab".

Teacher: All idiots stand up.
A boy stands up.
Teacher: So u are an Idiot?
Boy: No. I can’t bear u standing alone madam..

An old Indian women slips on ice and falls..

She cries.. "Hai meri kismat !!"

A Foreigner walks past and says..
,
,
,
,
,
.
.
.
"Hi.. Merry Christmas to you too."..

teacher : YOu just got 5 marks a
And still you are laughing..??
.
.
.
.
Student : I'm wondering...
how i got 5 marks even though i wrote song lyrics..

Two Beggers meet. .
Two Software Engineers meet. .
Both asked the same Question to Each other.!
Guess What??? . . . .
“So? Which Platform are you Working on”

Girl-I'm not feeling well Today

Boy-Oh! Thatz too bad, i thought of taking yu for shopping Today

Girl-I was joking
.
Boy-Me Too...

A boy
.. sitting with his gf,
drinking beer,
says: I luv u.
.
... .
Girl asks: Its u or the beer talking?
.
.
Boy replies: Its me, talking 2 my
beer.!

Me-I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably seated

Girl-So what do you do?
.
.
me:I close my eyes and act like i am sleeping...

TEACHER- "It's better to fail than to cheat"
.
.
.
.
.
STUDENT- "LOL No, it's better to cheat than to repeat"

Ab kya kahe aaj kal k bachho ko....

Boy:can you give ur hair to me
Girl:smiled and asked for what
Boy:I need a brush to clean my toilet.

BOY-your teeth are like stars..
Girl-Awwwww,thanks,are they that shining??
Boy-No,they are far from each other..!!